I am in a fog. Things are starting to unhinge - just a bit. ha. Today I forgot to plan a lesson. Last night e was up for about two hours from three a.m. until five a.m. My hair was a hot mess today. My makeup was a bit too cake-y.
The floor is starting to look like it's been forgotten for months. There are piles of crap everywhere. And I have no energy to do anything about it.
On a bright note: talked with day-care mommy and feel a bit more at ease. A bit. e still only ate half or part of a cereal bar and some yogurt all day...but it's not nothing, right?
But of course, (yay daycare) e has a cold already, too;-)!
Also, today I had to do the picking up of e because my hubby had an interview (yay!). So I had to do the rushing home, picking her up, making dinner, feeding her...Which hubby was doing the last two days...He was doing the pick up and morning drop off because he was working in the city and could leave later and return earlier.
This system we had going was really working for me - I could get all pertied up in the a.m. without worrying about e. And I didn't have to rush home from my out-of-town job...(although I still pretty much rushed, because I was so anxious to see little e)!
But - no more. He will be starting his working day earlier now. But he will be finished it earlier, too.
So now a NEW routine must be forged (already, I KNOW!).
I was liking this system because jb would feed e before he dropped her off. Now I will have to do this; I think that it might prove to be quite the chore since e doesn't like eating earlier than like eight - and she will have to eat at 7:30. Never mind the fact that now I have to prep myself for around 7:15 (that's hair, makeup, lunch made, breakfast devoured, coffee cup sucked dry)...
Phew. Man. I was just getting used to things...
Brutal.
But jb has a job and that is AWESOME!
The goal for tomorrow? Stay sane. Try not to lose yet another soothy. Maybe pull out the vac. MAYBE. For sure try to remember lessons. And for sure for sure - remember that I am picking up AND dropping off little e.
But, what my number one goal will be is to simply just roll with the punches. Otherwise things might prove to be just a bit too much - and it's just not.
And I thought balancing life before was difficult. What am I gonna do when there are more little e's added to the mix!?
No. Really it's been extraordinary fun. But such an eye opener. I forgot how much teachers have to pack into their days (well, the good ones anyhow)!
Got to school yesterday, and felt pretty prepared. It was a day of getting to know the kids, reorganizing the classroom, and just getting the ol' toes wet.
It was so fun to enter the school as though I'd never left. It was awesome to see the staff, too!
The day went like clockwork, and I stepped into my role as though I'd never left. It's like my body and subconscious mind were just holding on to the teacher in me until it was time to unveil her again.
No thoughts were really required. And after a year of absense, and very little thought about school, this fact surprised me. I thought I'd be more nervous. I thought I'd be all tongue tied.
Did you know I have stage fright and am afraid to say a speech or present in front of people? Um. Pretty contradictory since it's my daily job.
Even in workshops, I fear talking to my peers and being the center of attention.
So I thought that's how I'd be yesterday.
Nope. Teacher SB was born again!
And the kids, though I know they are in their honeymoon period, took to me too!
A very surprising feat, since the teacher previous was super cool, super young, and they totally adored her!
Big shoes. Literally. She was also tall and had big feet. So. yah.
Today was going to inevitably be even harder than yesterday, I knew. The exhaustion from my first full day of working in a whole year definitely did me in!
And how was e's first two days at daycare you ask?
Really good! Still not eating really. Makes me catch my breath with anxiety. But maybe she'll be okay. I have come to learn just how protective I am of her, though.
I made the funniest (though probably not so funny to day-care mommy) care-package for e to take. It was full of food and paraphernalia for e. I mean FULL. I think the woman was really insulted. I even wrote a note outlining little e quirks to 'help' the mommy daycare out. A bit controlling, much?
Hey! I've never let my baby out of my sights for longer than a few hours and never never to anyone other than family. I need adjusting time too! Is it bad that I called daycare mommy on Sunday and tonight to talk with her? She never answered either time. jb says I should be calling during her 'working hours'...but I am working then. And so should she! She has five kids! She shouldn't be talking on the phone...right?
Okay, I guess I can understand not wanting to talk to parents during off hours. But on Sunday I wanted to drop off the food because I wasn't able to Monday - and same with tonight. I hadn't talked to her yet about e's adjustment because jb did the pick up and drop offs and he's brutal at relaying messages and telling details of events...So I wanted a proper update. And to hear what she's feeding my e. You know - Mommy update-y stuff.
Well. Seems she has call display and doesn't respond. I feel like a teenage girl trying to reach her unreachable boyfriend. I am THAT frustrated. GR. Shouldn't she answer now? At least at the beginning...?
What do you think? Or do I really need to simmer down?
So tomorrow is day three....Then one more day and a four day weekend! Did I pick the perfect week to go back or what???
Oh there will be many more entries about the trials and tribulations of teaching and parenting and day-care monitoring. I promise! But for now. It's eight o'clock, and in case you weren't aware,that's my new bed-time!
Well baby girl, this is the first of many birthdays and I’m really not quite sure how to memorialize such an important event. I always wanted to be a mommy, you know. But I never knew how challenging and rewarding it would be. And I never knew that I would bare and meet the sweetest, smartest, funn-est, and most charismatic girl I’ve ever known. I promise you, little girl, that while I am biased, I am not stretching the truth here. You are a gem. You make me laugh and you make my heart burst and break constantly and often simultaneously.
You are quirky and you love people in a way I’ve never seen a baby love people. You interact and engage with everyone you meet. You seem to share stories and secrets with all individuals, young and old.
I find you wise beyond your years, little girl. You’re happier than any person I’ve ever met, and it seems to simply be your disposition. You are independent minded and you are stubborn to a fault. Your interest in food is negligible, but your interest in people is palpable.
You love to dance, my little girl; which makes me know for sure that even though you are blond and fair and look all things your daddy, you are definitely mine. And that trait, no matter what anyone says, comes from me.
Things were not always easy for you in this last year. Your belly was often upset after you ate – and you had reflux something fierce. You cried only out of pain. Otherwise you never complained. You are the strongest, most adaptable girl I’ve ever met. You rarely complained, even though to hold you against me was to know how upset and turbulent your tummy could get.
You are also very musical and love to play the maracas, the xylophone, and the keyboard. And you shake your head like Stevie Wonder as you play – or you shake your behind…Or both…It’s amazing you don’t fall down out of dizziness.
You are a busy girl, little e – always looking for new things to conquer and new people to engage. Your smile lights up everything – and there’s a sparkle in your eye that says you know more than you let on – and that you’re a wee bit mischievous.
When you sleep you are the cutest. You hold on to two of your three soothers and you suck on that third one, breathing heavily with conviction. But, little girl, what also leads me to believe you are an old soul, is the fact that you have nightmares already. What could a baby girl who’s not yet a year, possibly be frightened of? We may never know. But you cry so hard and are so heartbroken and fearful, it kills me.
Little baby girl, I never want to forget this year, and how it has changed me and helped me grow. I never want to forget all the wonderful phases you’ve grown through, or how you once nursed for hours on end. That bond is impenetrable. It killed me when we had to stop. I never want to forget your hugs, your nuzzles, the way you climb my leg and put your head on my shoulder when you are tired.
I want to always remember the excitement you show when confronted with a new pillow – how you throw your whole self onto it with such exuberance. And how the bed is the vastest and most amazing place to you – you love to fall, to roll, and to fall again.
I want to remember your tickle spots – when I put my nose to the center of your back or to our belly – you crumble in laughter and ticklesh-ness (if there were such a word). You love to do somersaults off your mommy – much to the fear of your daddy who thinks we play too rough. You are a physically fit little girl – one who has little fear – a gymnast at heart, I am sure!
The characteristic you’ve maintained the longest is your droning sound of concentration: when something has caught your attention, intrigued and puzzled you, you make a droning sound, you furrow your brow and you are concentrated completely on solving some strange mystery. Nothing else matters. It is fascinating watching you work through your thoughts and try to understand new toys and things.
But little e, most of all, what I never want to ever forget is your baby laugh. That delighted giggle that is almost constant. You understand jokes, and you laugh at your favourite cartoon (and doctor Oz for some reason?) – But you are always, always laughing. Mostly you laugh at your dad – you and he? You have a very special bond. You’re each other’s silly-ness instigators! And you laugh when you catch us watching you – that really tickles you!
You have brought more joy and heartache to me than I’ve ever before known. You are my heart. You are my joy. You are the best little person I could have ever hoped to meet and call my own.
Welcome to the sixth installment of Thirsty Thursdays! Every week I will select a wine and review it. (There will be no consistent rhyme or reason for picking the wine; presume I chose each bottle on a whim. And, no, I am not receiving compensation for these reviews). I will rate the wine on a four glass rubric because a properly poured glass of wine is 6.25 oz, ensuring that each 750 ml bottle fills four glasses. (This haphazard logic makes sense, right?!)…
I am amazed I am doing a review this week, because my head is spinning - I am close to anxious, but am fighting it with all my might. Because. I. am. in. control. So far...
A reminder in how one should taste her wine:
A proper Wine Tasting starts with smelling the wine. This process looks ridiculous! You take a brief first sniff, then pull the glass away and swirl it like a snob, (look for legs, viscosity, colour, etc.) then stick your big noggin right in there and inhale like it’s your last breath. And THEN you take the first sip, and pull it through your teeth. Also looks ridiculous! Swallow. (Sounds obvious I know…).Take your second sip. During this sip, you swoosh the wine like it is toothpaste you’re trying to wash out of your mouth. Please don’t spit it out, though, unless there’s a bucket and you’re expected to! Finally, that third sip you hold on to and savor – and finally…swallow. It is this final sip that tells for sure if the wine is going to be good.
McManis Petite Sirah.
The only red wine better, in my humblest of opinions, than McManis Cabernet? McManis Petit Sirah! Oh Man. Does this wine have some major tastes going on. It packs a whole lot into one little sip, let me tell you! It is so yummy it dances on your tongue. Seriously!!!
As I've said before, The Petite Sirah is a YUMMY full bodied red wine with a sweet and spicy aroma and a hint of cherry in its finish. While its name indicates its relation to the Sirah, it is a very different grape variety. I have read that the Petite Sirah is, contrary to its name, a very bold wine. And the McManis? Is very very bold. I think I might just have a crush on bold wines, actually! I am such a big fan. They aren't shy. They just are who they are. And this Petite Sirah is unabashedly sweet with a nice little tobacco-y hue.
The 2006 Petite Sirah is deep purple in color with a bright hue. The nose is of jammy Boysenberry intertwined with Creme brulee and a subtle smokiness. Dense ripe fruit flavors are abundant. The finish is long and succulent.
I also found this: The color of the 2008 Petite Sirah is of concentrated purple, with a youthful bright hue. The nose of the wine is full of ripe Blackberry, Boysenberry aromas, which are accompanied by Mocha and hints of brown sugar. The berry aromas of the nose are also evident in the flavor, when the rich, full bodied wine enters the mouth. Notes of milk chocolate and anise linger, long after swallowing. (shopriteliquors).
Food Pairings: works well with hearty red meats - but I would also say it would be great with a creamy and chocolate-y dessert.
I am going to commit copyright infringement, here, but I feel I must. I would say that this wine is the little black dress wine. You know those nights when you just feel you want to get all dolled up and go somewhere with dim lighting and a smoldering atmosphere - ? I am sure you are well acquainted with the nights -- when you feel like being downright sexy and vamp-y for your man..
That's what this wine is. *It could even be your red lipstick because it is that bold and that sexy. Not for the tame, this wine. Oh no.
So slip into that sexy dress. Confidently apply that red lipstick. And dominantly grab your partner by the hand and tell him he is taking you for a night on the town. And for his generosity and willingness to oblige? Oh, he WON'T be sorry...
Enjoy responsibly.
Rating: 4 out of four red wine/ Petite Sirah goblets - YES. It is THAT GOOD!
*And I truly believe every woman needs to own for herself a proper red lipstick. Oh yes.
p.s. this is for you anonimo: So jb and I are watching March Madness tonight. And a player by the name of Isaiah Thomas comes on the screen. And I say 'Boy. He's been playing for a LOOONG time'. Then jb gives me the 'Oh SB, seriously?!' look. And I'm like, wha? and I say - 'Oh, this is COLLEGE FOOTBALL, right? I get it!' And then he's like...'Um no' giving me an even sorrier look than the previous. And I'm like, what did I say wrong now? 'It's not football SB'...
This week I may leave a few memories of e and I and our past year.
Here's today's.
With the start of March Madness being blasted ALL OVER the place (on my t.v., on my fb, in my favourite blog posts) - I got to thinking about what MM means to me:
It means 14 hours of labor. It means the birth of e. It means a happy hubby, who's so engrossed in the games on the t.v. in our private hospital room, that he pretty much forgets the real reason we are there...I swear he would have paid someone to be there - he had the perfect seat - and he got hours worth of sports watching in!
I loved labor, can you believe this?
I was not one of those crazy (admirable) no epidural types either.
Nope!
More pain? More drugs!
Oh wow. That sounded awful!
But e didn't really want to come out. And she was pushing really hard on my back. Uncomfortable!
Even though I loved labor and the birthing experience, mine was not the greatest, story book perfect birth.
Nope.
Wanna hear about it?
We go in to the hospital at one in the afternoon. All morning I am fearing that I am losing amniotic fluid but afraid to go in and be a waste of the doc's time if I'm wrong.
I was right.
I am induced at one.
I begin labor at four pm.
The real pain starts at eight pm.
Epidural at eight - oh - one.
Call my mom at 12am thinking this is close enough to the birth time (I was fully dilated and such) - so she wouldn't be too in my space at this point. Um.Wrong!
e's stubborn streak showed itself even before her birth. She just would not budge.
I spent the ENTIRE night chatting my nurses' ears off. I did not stop talking. In fact at points they had to shut me up because my oxygen was so low it was putting e in jeopardy.
So after many hours e was proving she did not want to come out. I was chatting everyone's ear off, not really worried that e's heart-rate kept dropping. I knew I was amongst professionals who would do what needed to be done in time if it were needed - I was confident!
I was also on this crazy high. I'd never been through a birth. I'd never even had an operation before. The experience was very special to me.
The hours passed very quickly. I pushed. I rested. I never shut up. And jb? watched his march madness! And I sentenced my mom to sitting in a chair in the corner - I could not have ANYONE in my space!
Docs were threatening C section by 3am. Yup. e's heart-rate was concerning. My oxygen level was concerning. My inability to push her out? Concerning.
So the doc slept on it.
And e was pulled out via forceps at 5:37 am on March 29th (the most perfect time if you ask me - as 5:30 has been my favourite time of day since I was fourteen)...
Six lbs.
Crying.
But she knew my voice straight away.
In a room full of NICU people, doctors, Residents, Nurses (the doc called my labor an orgy -- ha ha) - the room was loud and buzzing, but when e heard my voice, she turned and looked for me...
Amazing.
Here's your first glimpses of my baby.
Boy was I ignorant to the many lessons I'd learn as a parent from that moment on....
This is my first week of Friday Follow - I am not sure if I am supposed to have a post for today - but if you come to my site, can you read my most recent post, rather than this one? Hope you like! Looking forward to meeting new and exciting people!
Welcome to the fifth installment of Thirsty Thursdays! Every week I will select a wine and review it. (There will be no consistent rhyme or reason for picking the wine; presume I chose each bottle on a whim. And, no, I am not receiving compensation for these reviews). I will rate the wine on a four glass rubric because a properly poured glass of wine is 6.25 oz, ensuring that each 750 ml bottle fills four glasses. (This haphazard logic makes sense, right?!)…
Okay - so now that I am going back to work, I must rework this whole thing. You will be receiving the quick and dirty versions of Thirsty Thursdays. I hope you don't mind!
A reminder in how one should taste her (his) wine:
A proper Wine Tasting starts with smelling the wine. This process looks ridiculous! You take a brief first sniff, then pull the glass away and swirl it like a snob, (look for legs, viscosity, colour, etc.) then stick your big noggin right in there and inhale like it’s your last breath. And THEN you take the first sip, and pull it through your teeth. Also looks ridiculous! Swallow. (Sounds obvious I know…).Take your second sip. During this sip, you swoosh the wine like it is toothpaste you’re trying to wash out of your mouth. Please don’t spit it out, though, unless there’s a bucket and you’re expected to! Finally, that third sip you hold on to and savor – and finally…swallow. It is this final sip that tells for sure if the wine is going to be good.
Okay people. Last week's Thirsty Thursday was riddled RIDDLED with mistakes! I am ashamed of myself! No more!
Just because I am a bit preoccupied does not NOT give me the right to become lax on here; that's not fair to you - am I right?
Any-who --
This week you are in for a real treat, as j.b. and I have finally picked a suitable and substantial, not to mention inexpensive--though delectably drinkable--house red wine. It is called Mezzomondo Negroamaro.
Mezzomondo translates literally as 'the center or middle of the world' - as the winery is from the heart of Italy. And if you know anything about me, I HEART ITALY - (or I presume I do, since I've never been, and it's my DREAM destination).
Now I've never heard of a Negroamaro grape before. Curious. Apparently it can also be called Negro Amaro - and it is a grape native to southern Italy (wikipedia). The grape (as its name indicates) produces a very dark, deep coloured red wine. It is a grape that is often used in blended wines (such as Montepulciano), but can also work well on its own - as it does in our new Mezzomondo favourite!
Tasting Notes, directly from the Mezzomondo website:deep in colour, the nose is spicy with a good structure and smooth tannins. A perfect pasta pairing or try with veal parmigiana, spicy sausage or pizza.
Doesn't that just sound Italian and DREAMY?
What I taste in the wine is a smoky, almost oaky, clove-y spice. This is a full bodied dry red wine with not a lot of complexity. Its taste is simple, deep, but not overpowering. Where a Cabernet has a bolder berry spice and a hint of sweetness to it, this Negroamaro is leathery and tobacco-ey and its flavour follows through to the finish. But it is not off-putting or too much. It is not bold - it is subtle. Yummy. And it tastes like I imagine Italy to be like: romantic and simple. (huh?) I know. What the heck am I saying?
I imagine we are all Lady and the Tramping it with this wine: (I may be in a dream world here!): we have our beloved Italian lover (or favourite blond-white hubby) dining with us. We are of course by candlelight, seated at the table that is cloaked in a red and white checkered cloth, and we have a single red rose hanging loosely in a tall vase as our centerpiece. Our Italian lover (ahem) is lapping up every word we utter. He is staring at us adoringly, lost in our eyes: fixated on everything we are saying and doing.
He is lustful and his attention is not distracted.
(lucky us!)
We are enjoying our spaghetti carbonara on ONE plate, not two. .Because sharing is romantic...(duh!). We are sitting so close, we are almost ON one another. And of course that last noodle? We split. Lady and the Tramp style. Because our Romantic Italian Lover? He's debonair like that. He has no shame - and we? just go with it -- (even though we do feel a littlesilly!).
Besides its yummy-ness - and its Italian-ness - this wine is tres inexpensive: not sure how this relates in American, but it is a mere $16.45 in the LCBO!
My rating? 3.75 Italian style rock glasses out of four! mmm...it's yummy.
A sidenote:
When I think of rock glasses and red wine, my mind always goes to the depictions of the busy Italian families, everyone with drink in hand: Is anyone else thinking - Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair. (Saturday Night Fever)? - sorry. I got distracted:-)
Viva Italia!
---
p.s. let's add something here: what are YOU drinking these days? Let us all know! Or me, anyhow!!
my hubby had me do my first scotch tasting last night...now that's a whole other kettle of fish or whatever...man oh man! And I thought wine was interesting...
Above: me post shopping - no more malls ... for a while.
I write this.
So if it is incoherent, I do apologize! I have like five pounds to lose by next weekend. (I hope)! Ha! What a joke.
We'll see.
Does that give you a hint as to how my shopping day went yesterday?
OH Man.
Never mind the shitaculous (pretty sure I stole that word from Perez Hilton) lighting in those stores that make every woman (and man) look pasty, tired, and drained :-)!
But let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Okay.
So I made my list.
And checked it twice.
On an organizational roll...
Good start.
Had e dropped off at daycare at eight-thirty a.m. after her not eating (been this way for two weeks almost). I cried as I left her. A small sidebar: about three years ago, j.b. and I owned two lovely kitties: razz and staggerlee. They were, of course, our first children. I found out I was deathly allergic (no seriously!) to cats after about three years of owning them. I used to smoke, so I never correlated my inability to breathe with the cats until I quit. Then I would spend nights pulling desperately for air and taking antihistamines so I could breathe at least a little. I was in denial: from one bad habit to the next. Until finally I went to a Walk In Clinic and the good ol' doc said I basically should have been in Emerg, that's how badly I was breathing. ANYHOO, long story short, we were instructed to get rid of the cats ASAP. So we did. In like a week. A nice nurse who had lived on a farm and had all respect for animals took them. We drove the kitties to her house. And we brought them in. And they cowered. But once they settled and were getting a bit comfortable, we bolted. (Quick and easy). Yeah right.
That's how I felt about leaving e. I wondered, does she think I won't come back for her? Does she feel abandoned?
Probably an over-imagination on my part, yes?
Apparently she fussed, but quickly settled.
j.b. picked her up after the hour so I could get a move on all my busy day adventures.
So off I went list and plan in hand: First to a children's store to finish e's birthday shopping.
I have bought her maracas (cuz they're just so much fun), building blocks, bath toys, two pairs of adorable shoes, (btw, I really restained myself here -- it's bad enough that I have a shopping addiction when it comes to me -- having a daughter is going to make my habit that much worse!!!), two bonnets, and two outfits. Pretty good, huh?
Oh and I had a cute banner made for her that we will pull out yearly for her birthday. A little over the top, but what - ev. Let's not discuss the price tag on this - I may have a small anxiety attack. And I plan to never never never tell j.b. Let's let him remain happily ignorant.
Happy jb Happy e Happy me.
Okay. The run down:
In six hours I hit twelve stores, got my hair cut and coloured and got all waxed (eek!) and ate two meals. I am an ANIMAL!
Clothing:
H & M was good to me: 2 dresses. 3 pairs of pants. two tops. one red scarf. one bow for hair. $250.00. Not bad.
Urban Behaviour was OKAY: two sweet cardi's. I have a nice collection now!
And everywhere else? Brutal. I had such a productive first hour, then found NOTHING ELSE.
No shoes. (waaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa)
Went to Dynamite in a fifteen minute rush before my hair appointment, tried on and bought three things...Rethought them all, and apres my lovely preening, promptly returned them all. As Diane says, that good ol' Catholic guilt can be something FIERCE!!! - No regrets, though. Mostly.
I did get the bras!! Can I tell you how much I hate hate hate spending money on bras. I have to laugh, too. The sale's lady looked at me and guessed my size two sizes too small. Guess that's a good thing? Dunno. That was the worst part of my day though.
Hair:
greys covered? check
darker black/brown, rich colour? check check
Shiny? CHECK!
less disheveled? Thank GOD: check check check
Price tag? Don't ask! But but but: $100 cheaper than what I usually pay -- so that's good, but also indicative of the astronomically high price of 'beautifying' oneself!
Overall? Productive! I've overhauled my closet, reorganized my wardrobe and decided what to pair with what (this is my favourite thing to do post-shopping)...Oh what a materialist am I??? I actually had more clothes and shoes already than I had originally thought. But I could still do with one more pair of shoes:-).
The money may be ALL gone, but the rejuvenated feeling is worth it!
I even modeled all my new finds for j.b. (didn't even have to hide any cuz I was so good and budgeted - Yay me!). I would tell you he was completely into the fashion show and the clothing - but I'd be lying. It was mostly so I could play with my new toys!!
And j.b's full day with e? Oh he was bored. Every time I'd call to check in, he'd be like, when are you coming home? I am so bored!!! And Does e ever eat ANYTHING?
So when I did get home and was somewhat organized, his duties were done. He stopped all work, read the paper, did Soduko, played on the computer.
Man I wish I was a man.
So ladies, I hope you enjoyed my play-by-play of my overhaul day! I'd say I did pretty good. I won't be going back naked (in my paper bag, if you recall); nor will I be a hairy beast. Lucky everyone. And, mostly, I feel like I can actually step out into the world without being a frazzled mess.
Now to figure out how to remain calm, cool, collected when it comes to the actual work day and its routines - but that's an issue for another day.
Off to put on one of my new ensembles :-). Oh the shiny fun of new clothes!
Time to enjoy the sun.
And eat. Should probably do that too.
I'll keep you posted on the weight-loss: I am down 3 lbs so far! Yippee!!!
OH!
One more thing:
I did learn yesterday, as I tried on the many many outfits, where I really hold on to the fat: my belly/hip area, and those damn inner thighs. And it's near impossible on my short little figure to hide it. Hence (oh that university word again) the fact that I did not buy jeans. I tried on many a pair. But until I've lost some chunk-age - or they've managed to work themselves in before I buy them - they will remain on the shelf. That extra roll over the top of the jeans? Ew! Too depressing!
Sigh - boo - ANYHOW - what-evs (again);
e is up from her nap and I've not eaten yet!!! ARRRGHHH.
Much to my hubby's shagrin, I hate Beck - but, it is so fitting here...well, mostly!
I am in the process of completing my second extra-large coffee, so to say I am a bit jittery would be an understatement of grand proportions. I am even finding it hard to type.
However, good morning all! And thanks for joining me for a morning coffee!
Let's have some coffee talk, shall we?
Well, ladies, in the last few days, I've felt the pendulum swing and the winds of change begin to blow: I am now in preparation mode.
And!
You would be proud!
I have managed to complete plans for two full units (speeches and Geometry), including accommodations and modifications for those who need it. I am also half way through my Geography unit, also including accommodations et al. I've clocked around ten hours in planning so far. (How does anyone do a good job of this and balance all the rest that teaching entails during the school year??!) Whew. I am feeling super proud. My brain is whirly. I forgot how much I love to create. How much I love to organize. And how much energy is takes - hence (ugh what a University word) my lack of correspondence on here....Well, that and my need to nap my way back to health!!!
But you may be asking yourself, if she's done all these amazingly wonderful, forward stepping accomplishments, why, oh why is she calling herself a loser?
Well, my friends, because I. Am.
I really am!
I always have been, in fact.
Why, whatever do I mean???
The moment life gets busier--becomes full steam ahead, if you will--something always gets lost in the transition. Literally. Sometimes many somethings.
This is a difficult issue for someone like me who, while being an organizational junkie, also is a bit flaky and disorderly.
While I love organization, it does not come naturally to me. I suppose it's a bit of an ambivalent relationship we have: I love to keep things just so, but because of the extra exertion it takes, when I am lacking time, things start to fall to sh*t.
You should have seen me in high school and university. You would have thought I was chaotic: my notes were ALL OVER THE PLACE! But there was always method to my madness, I swear!
But we're not talking about the past, here, ladies. Oh No. Let's talk present day. Like right now:
What have I lost this week, you might ask?
1. My tax information - (yay tax time).
2. Our garage door opener.
3. e's soothers (two of the four - and these aren't the everyday normal, toss and don't care kind, they are special - at least I think so)!
4. More socks. grrrrr....
5. My marbles (anyone thinking Jumanji)?
Yup, I am all whacked out. I've lost it.
I can only imagine what's gonna happen when I have to balance more than just planning, house, and baby (oh and hubby, I seem to always forget about him!). I am going to lose so many more things.
And. I. Hate. Losing. Things.
It drives me mental!
Where j.b. is all, whatever, it will turn up.
I'm more Um, hello, what if it doesn't?!!!
Is it a matter of control?
So imagine a day in the life of me, then, if you will. With my keen inner very much burning desire to have all things in order, and my natural propensity to be chaotic. One of my favourite teachers in high school used to call me organized chaos. Indeed. Oh but the hyperventilating anxiety this causes me.
I exert my energy so hard to keep things together and yet, by nature, I am unable.
Do you feel sorry for me?
So, I guess, all I ask is for the universe to throw me a bone during these next couple of weeks. I have a one-year-old's birthday party to plan (which means clean house, baking done, guest bedroom made up, groceries bought, wine selected, and cute baby e outfit to organize)....And I have to go to the school (wah) and get there all organized and partake in p.t. interviews (damn, thought I'd gotten outta those for this year!), and I have all those units to finish organizing, and my new wardrobe for my new, post-pregnancy figure (damn you!!!), and of course the reconfiguring of my entire external self: from stay inside and don't care mode to go outside and must be presentable mode. This process here, is going to take the longest. You don't want to know how much I've 'let myself go'!
So in this busy time, I beg. NO. I PLEAD! that maybe just maybe, I will keep it all together:
That the soothers will stay where they need to - that the garage door opener shows up - that I photocopy all the right material - that I get all the necessary organizational folders together and just so for school - that the daycare gets all e's necessary paraphernalia - That I don't forget anything for the party -
That everything lands where it is supposed to!
Dear St. Anthony, let's make a pact: let's be on the offense here. Shall I pray to you now to ensure I don't lose stuff, so that we don't have to meet up later when I'm a harry, erratic mess?
Does this deal work for you?
Please, for the sake of my remaining marbles, Please Please, help me keep it all together for at least the next few weeks, and if we can even work it so that it all stays in tact until summer vacation? That would be even grander!
Life is gonna be pretty much swinging from the ceilings for the next few months, so your considerate support would (will?) be greatly appreciated.
Yours truly,
The loser, baby!
Me.
*p.s. this post reminds me of yet another one of my favourite songs...For your indulgence:
Below this post-it note post is my today's post: about the 'C' word!
