April 28, 2010

Life on the Refrigerator Door.

I just read this book by Alice Kuipers. It was a very sweet and supremely fast read: I think every mother needs to read it. 

It's real. It's raw. 

It made me happy and sad simultaneously.

It is perfect for those who have little time to read but need something uplifting and thoughtful to help them ease into sleep.

Good night.

April 27, 2010

April 25, 2010

many things change....

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/bst/lowres/bstn212l.jpg

For instance, I am reading how others spend their weekends and I am green with envy. Though I do know that my weekend is much milder than many mothers, it is still a very busy pocket of time. 

And so I stop and I ask myself, is this two days and three(ish) nights a time to rest?  Or is it a time to catch up? To clean? To play? To party? To be with the family?

How to spend the sacred weekend?

Well, let's see.

I guess one must prioritize.

Maybe create a list.

And then start to trim the list (lest one needs a weekend to recover from the weekend, and Lord Knows, we DO NOT get that!)...

Here was my original list:
1. P.D. session Friday.
2. Get home and go to parent's for dinner.
3. Spend 'quality' *ahem time with j.b.
4. Sleep.
5. Catch up on my blog. *yay!
6. Vacuum house.
7. Dust house.
8. Do six loads of laundrey.
9. Grocery shop.
10. Spend birthday money on jeans and shoes. *yippee!
11. Tea with neighbours.
12. Spend LOADS of time with e: go to park, go to Chapters, play in yard, play in house. Could have done way better here.
13. Three birthday parties. (only made it to one)
14. Have Beth from Thinking of Thinking over for dinner.
15. Cook a nice (show off-y) dinner for Beth.
16. Mass.
17. Catch up on blogs.
18. Mark Math tests.
19. Read novel - or pick new novel - 
20. Go to library.
21. Get food ready for week.
22. Create menu for week's dinners.
23. Pick out e's clothes for week.
24. Pick out my clothes for week.
25. Call brother.
26. Watch a good movie.
27. Catch up on television shows.
28. Get all clothes put away!!! *I am usually HORRIBLE at finishing this task!

Now to go back and abridge list to something more do-able and that considers the fact the hubby has had the flu and e has still been miserable with illness/virus/teething...

Well - accomplishing 17/27 ain't so bad.

Feng Shui I say! Simplify!!!

Though I did feel badly about botching the dinner. Um I may have simplified a bit too much here. I trimmed to the point I forgot three very KEY ingredients! Blah spaghetti. There is almost nothing worse than boring spaghetti. It is meant to be a comfort food! Something to enjoy - to savour. Not something over which one must wonder, now where did the flavour go??? Oh, it was forgotten, er, left out...simplified...ah...woops!

Maybe the chef was (well certainly in fact) over-tired? Does this excuse work at least a little? Can she be forgiven?

Sleep has been a long lost friend this week.

Oh how I remember when I could go to bed early or stay up late and it was no matter - it was up to me! And I could sleep in or get up and go to the gym - no matter - it was up to me!

Now my bed-time and wake time (as is the case with most of you) is dictated by child.

Last night, when I was lying in bed all pumped at the prospect of finally catching up on some reading, after a great night with Beth, I felt a little bit free: to bed early finally!  After a week of e being up several times crying in the night, I was FINALLY going to get a good night's rest.

Maybe this was going to turn out to be a weekend for catching up on zzzz's after all! Well, no.

e was up crying from about the time I became excited at the prospect of the glorious night of sleep ahead until 12:30 a.m. And then she was up again at I am not sure what time - I was half asleep. And then she was up again at six something...

So my weekends have certainly not been a time to catch up on my much needed sleep.

Boo.

Now I ask, what IS my weekend for? How do I make it what I want it to be? Especially without offending others.

Family is paramount. Immediate, then parents, then extended family.

SLEEP catch-up (as if I have a choice in this department)!

Hubby 'quality time'.

Then groceries.

Then friends.

Then house-work.

THEN shopping and fun stuff like that for me *yay!

hm. Maybe I should stop bringing school-work home...

A thought.

I just don't want my weekends to be something that I have to chase after. I don't want to be exhausted from over-extending myself during this time - that is how my week is spent, thank you very much.

I want to get off the wheel - I have to get off the wheel! To stop running, and coast at least a little at some point during the weekend!

How I sometimes lament the days when I could just do NOTHING all weekend. 

sigh...

But how full my life is and how thankful I am, really...

Now, I ask YOU - what is YOUR weekend for?

ok still obsessed!




April 23, 2010

GLEE-ful!

http://www.madonna-forums.com/images/gallery/madonna21.jpg
Okay if you are of my generation, then you MUST appreciate Madonna, at least a little...

And even if you don't -

I DO!

I am a HUGE Madonna fan. 

Her music was the first I ever learned to memorize. My very first tape was Like a Prayer. I performed my first lip sync contest to Like a Prayer. The first lip-sync contest I won was to Cherish. 

I did many a dance routine to Madonna. My students today do dance routines to Madonna for Dancefest.

I have owned ALL of her music. ALL of it.

 I've even been in the nose-bleeds section at one of her concerts! (expensive, silly seats, but so worth it)!

All of her music has marked some part of my life - from my youthful elementary school days, lip-syncing and dancing to Like a Prayer, to my adventurous high school days and first boyfriends when Secret was my favourite Madonna song - to my trip to Europe, dancing to Ray of Light in the disco's...Her music has been a very present back drop in my life.

So when GLEE pays homage to Madonna - I get REALLY REALLY excited!

Especially when all the students are passing down the halls in a montage of various Madonna-inspired trademarked images (Oh yah - Matarial Girl/Who's that Girl/Express Yourself/Vogue/Like a Virgin....etc. etc.)...I am bursting out of my chair in crazy, nostalgic excitement! I cannot contain myself!!!

And then to hear all the newly mixed and sung music. Oh Man.

I am a young girl again. 

I am!

How I love the way Madonna's songs transcend time and take me back to those various moments in my life. It makes me so so happy.

And to watch the Vogue rendition (which was hilarious with its little Sue Sylvester additions) - and then to in turn recall how in high school I copied the routine verbatim for a talent show.


Oh I love it!

Wow. Art. Music. Dance.

There is nothing that makes me happier.

And Madonna, to me, represents all those things.

And now, so does Glee.

oh and Le? Yup there was a reference to Stephen Sondheim too!

Yay Glee!

Yay harmless pop musical entertainment!

Yay to bubble-gummy naivety and youthful, wide-eyed reflections! 

Oh nostalgia and memories - how I love you!!!

Come on Vogue - Strike a pose...please enjoy the following videos and know I restrained myself from adding even more - this montage is a mere scraping of the surface of madonna music I'd love love love to share.


Enjoy - responsibly!







Reading and Writing.

I was at a P.D. workshop today and I always participate in them and feel all silly and energized. 

You WOULD be annoyed by me.

I LOVE to learn and I LOVE to teach - and usually we get to do both.

I almost always become more aware of my shortcomings as a teacher and as a person during these P.D. sessions as well.

Like for instance, I need to read more.

How do I know?

Because my vocabulary is awful.

You may have noticed?

Um. Ya.

We were creating a persuasive paragraph about why we think Elin and Tiger Woods should stay together and usually writing good, quick little pieces is my specialty. Um. No longer.

I was grasping for the language.

And there was this high school English teacher there who had such rich language at her disposal. 

And I am not ashamed to admit this: I was JEALOUS.

 I was!

It's okay. Competition is a part of being human, I am learning.

I can no longer be ashamed of my inner beast.

Nope.

I hold on to my natural want to be the best in every room at all times and I hold it with pride.

It does not mean I don't want others to shine.

It just means I am aspiring....

Right?

I hope so.

Anyhow, regardless - I need to start reading...But where to start. Every book other than Jen Lancaster has proven to not really grab my interest. My last attempts were The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and something Circus. Don't even remember.

Anyone have a good book they can recommend? Please? I need something interesting, smart, but not too too complex. Like no Shakespeare-type reads with complicated names and too many characters.

And I don't like books like Blindness or The Road - too detached.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

And when I do read your recommendation, I will even post about it - so that would be something, too, wouldn't it?

Thanks for your help in helping me re-grow my vernacular, my interests and my brain!

Until the Next Time....

A Bientot!

April 20, 2010

OMG CRISIS! - Post-It Note Tuesday Style!!

As Always a special thanks to SupahMommy for her creative Tuesday Meme - Post-It Note Tuesday. It's about the only Meme I can stay committed to. Short and Sweet. Like I like it.

Yet another aspect of life I just cannot seem to keep up with. 

Well, boo.

Until next time:

Bon Nuit!

April 19, 2010

On Aging....Happy Birthday To Me...

So Saturday was my fun birthday Soiree - and let me just say that I had prepped myself, given myself a pep talk, reminded myself that I no longer drink to excess like I used to in my University days...I tried reminding myself that I used to feel awful both physically and psychologically after a night out what with the overindulgence in body toxic alcoholic substances and then the utterly ridiculous conversations that would thus ensue...

I had PREPARED myself.

I was ready to have fun - responsibly....

ahem.

and then the night came.

And the first glass went down well and swiftly...

So did the second.

And the third...

And then the fourth.

I could have and should have stopped there.

And would have been right inebriated for the entire night...

But no.

Since it WAS my birthday my friends were insistent on shots.

And who was I to argue?

Well - it was an amazing night. I was surrounded by my best-y and my bestests....

And I even got hit on (nice to be noticed once in a while - and it was all in good fun - especially when I mentioned my marital status and pointed the gentleman to my hubby and he was all J.B? J.B!!! How in the hell are YOU??? Your wife is HOT!).
*smiles*

Anyhow.

Suffice it to say the next day I was feeling every bit more sore than I remember feeling before: again physically and psychologically...

Why do I not listen to myself???

Well. The night scratched the itch I'd hoped it would: no more wishing for big nights out.

I am good now.

For a long long long time.

And how.

But to all who were present at this event: merci - I felt surrounded and loved and overall euphoric.

What  a lucky girl am I???


(let's all pray I didn't make an ass of myself.)


Amen.
ps. do you ever feel like this???

April 15, 2010

Wasted.

And no I am not drunk.

Today, proudly, was a very productive day.

I think I was a spoiled person before child...because I always stopped and vegged in the evenings. And now there is just no time for that!

I am enjoying life's pace greatly, but better start to catch up on some zzz's or I may die...or do something stupid.

How do you ladies keep up with your lives and be all all the time???

Help me. Help me!!!

Um. Thanks.

SB

ps. I am starting a bad habit of not giving myself enough time to review wine...might be time to set the review aside. but I will not commit either way - just yet!

Happy Weekend....Yay Birthday Party Weekend!!!

April 14, 2010

Dear Diary

Why do some days have to suck ass? Like today for instance. 

Wake up to puke-y baby. Clean her. Bathe her. Rush to get my breakfast and my hubby's breakfast and lunches together....

Rush out the door ten minutes late.

Rush into school ten minutes late.

Start my first lesson ten minutes into class because I just cannot get my shit together.

Three quarters of one class did not hand in a major assignment...

So have to have my first 'scolding' session of this academic year.

Get home and things are tense between hubby and I.

e is still not feeling well and puked up what little she did eat.

And um. well - I think that's it.

Diary, why do days have to start on the left foot? Can I not always have good days? Please?

I'm just getting into the swing of things and am for the most part loving life. These little glitches, however, are really taking their tole on my daily positive perspective.

I am spu - spu - sputtering here.....

Ugh.

Thanks for the kind ear. Because I know and so do you, that I've got it really quite good. I just needed a small, short vent.

And I am done.

To bed.

Right side tomorrow, please, right side!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ps. How is everyone else's day going?

April 12, 2010

My Legacy and other such Ridiculous Thoughts....

Well ladies today I feel as though I am barely BARELY keeping up. In fact at this moment I have not yet laid out my clothes for tomorrow (and it is nearly 8pm - my bedtime!!!). Nor have I had a moment to respond to my emails or my fb messages. Nor have I even sat down until just now.

Frig man life is busy.

But while it is busy on the outside with pertinent things, on the inside my wheels are spinning some really ridiculous thoughts.

Like I thought to myself this past weekend, self, let's have a chat, shall we? Tell, me, honestly, and with some real considerate thought, what is it, do I think, that I will leave to my daughter as my sort of Legacy? And you know what I came up with? 


Let me give you a minute...

The ability to apply and enjoy make-up. 


emmhmm. 


Oh yah.


I would say that this fact is a sad sad truth, but I believe it to be a happy one. 

I do!

I know there are other such much more important sb - isms that e will learn, but mostly, I look at myself, and I look at my future off-spring(s) and, by extension, and with hope, I presume, their future offspring(s) and I see ladies who just know how to apply and play with face art.

emmnhmmm. indeed!

Generations of beautifully aesthetics -ized faces. Can you believe it? Or, more to the point - can you imagine it?

I believe that this passion of mine will span generations of little sb's!!!

Or at least I hope so.

And that, I am proud to say, is the one major tangible talent that I truly truly believe will become inherent in my little girls. Unless of course they are rebels and take no note of anything I teach them. Then the art may die along with me.

But I WILL die trying.

Oh the trivialities that are all things me.

---

Next up. I know that I have 'raised the bar' in indulgence (ever see that Bueno commercial?) when I actually go out of my way to pay $7.50 for a regular sized waffle cone - EVER.

Like that is just insane, right? 

Like right up there with the five dollar coffee - latte?

Am I right? Or am I right?

Are we that yuppy-ville that we must spend more than a toonie on ICE CREAM?

Well, I am.

Indeed.

For two big-time reasons and some small unbeknown-st to me reasons too, I am sure.

One: PMS to me forces my body to emit this siren song - it creates in me a homing device - and thus attracts all forms of ice-creamy goodness-y indulgences for at least one week prior to my 'friend's' visit.

Indeed. Since high school. I would be my usual religious and conscientious eater all month long, then suddenly, out of the blue, I would have to buy me song ice-cream.

My mom could set her watch to it.

It took me years to realize this pattern.

But if you've read my posts, you know my mom and her need to um., help me see the light, ahem...(she says the ice-cream and my supreme bitchy-ness gave me away EVERY time). 

Oh she would tell the entire family over Easter dinner about my tendency to be a a bitchy, ice-creamy pms-y tyrant (I will admit I am a bit difficult to deal with at this time of the month) if I let her! 

And I don't.

Er. I try not to let her.

But even then, she'll try and work it into conversation -

I KNOW, right?!!

Your mom too?!

Anyhow.

That was One.

Two: If I buy a tub of ice cream, I will just HAVE to eat it in two days. No matter the size. It's like an unwritten rule: tub must be gone in two days.

Something about melting or something?

It's an agreement between my body and the tub. I have been left out of this equation - I swear!!!

(ah - I just unassumingly go along with it)....right...

And so - because of my inability to control said situations (pms and melting ice cream that is), I feel I must only buy cones.

In theory this works: I can still get what I want without fear of overindulgence - 

(ahem).

However, when I go out every night of Easter long weekend (including Monday night, my friends), (and even after two amazing family dinners AND two family desserts --mmm banana cake and apple pie!), I wonder if I've re-raised the bar for indulgence - to a place it should really and truly NEVER go.

And let's do the math, here shall we? Um $7.50 times four, divided by one - added to nothing - and then resultant in the grand total of - $30.00 spent on four ice creams!

I know your opinion of me just then really took a hit.
And I don't blame you one bit.

it. is. a. problem.
Of the monumental kind.

And yet, I will continue my silly approach.

And I will still buy from my favourite marble-slab.

Because their ice-cream is REAL ice-cream (not frozen dessert, which I am not sure what that is - you?) -  

And And And it is just that good!

  I even forwent (honestly, is there such a word?) my wine last week in lieu of my ice-cream fix.

Again, I admit, it's a bit of a problem.


And so I ask you - what will you, if you were as silly and frivolous as I, spend that kind of senseless money on? 

Of course, All things considered: like the fact that I should be able to buy and create my own cone for like 1/10th the price - and the fact that I drove out of my way - on four different occasions - on the very same weekend - to the not necessarily convenient Marble Slab for the very same dessert all four times on four consecutive days

Let's all overlook the environmental implications of this.

Oh and I just right then felt your opinion of me fall that little bit further.

ka-thunk? Did it just hit the floor!!!????

But anyhow.

And that is what takes up my mental space while working, 'relaxing', and um. doing everything all at once - 

my vapid, vacant little mind houses some wonderful discussion starters - don't you think?

Please make me feel better and share with me some sort of indulgence that is embarrassingly over-the-top...

If for no other reason, to make me feel a bit better about my sad sad sorry little self.

And how.

Bon nuit, mes amies!

April 10, 2010

With Sincerest Apologies - - -

I hesitantly begin this post.

...Because I KNOW it's a gonna be cheezy.

I blame it on hormones (only women themselves are permitted to blame ANYTHING on hormones -)

Keeping this in mind as you continue....

Here we go.

On Friday morning, after my second incident of 'there's something caught in my eye, that's why you see tears welling up, up in there...I swear!!!', I decided I have become even more of a sappy sap than I've ever been.

And to know me is to know I was always so cheezy and gooey that it was almost on the brink of gross.

 So here's my post about why I love love love teaching in the Catholic system.

 And no - this is not being written in the hopes that the 'powers that be' become enticed and or inspired and or persuaded that Catholic Education is important.

It's a post for me - yup, selfish old me.

Oh. And You of course! If you are interested.

So at our little small town school, we have a mass every first Friday of the month and also during any other important religious celebration and/or school celebration.

Friday was my first school mass and it was AWE-SOME.

I've always loved mass - mostly for the singing aspect. It's embarrassing to sit with me, really. I sing like I am a pop star. All emotional and expressive and Celine Dion-like. You may even catch me beating my chest with purpose. It is THAT embarrassing.

But I love school masses for a different reason: it's still the community aspect of it - but it is the MY SCHOOL community of it. It's like we're all in this secret little martyr-y club...That's the energy I feel, anyhow: The teachers doing good for the students and the well-behaved students there to impress the teachers. Oh and we're also all there to pray (of course)!

There's just a vibe to Friday school masses that cannot be explained. It's a moment in time when everyone is calm and peaceful and together.

And then the class that was putting on the mass sang Michael Row Your Boat Ashore - and never mind who was putting the mass on - those children just got me all choked up!!!

I never realized how special it is to hear children singing. (Well when it sounds good anyhow). And I never really appreciated a song like Michael Row Your Boat Ashore until Friday.

And there I was - my students at my side. The school gathered and holy - and I am pathetically tearing up. Oh man. Embarrassing.

I am springing eye-leaks all over.!!! Just the day before I went to watch our Glee Club (oh yah we are THAT up with the times) singing a song and I teared up then too! Good Lord (and I say that with the greatest of respect).

But I just love that we can all stop for a moment and join in a mass together as a school. And actually admit that school is just so much more than subjects and curriculum. It is a COMMUNITY. Together in there we are ONE. And when my teacher-colleague hands me the host and we exchange looks that say something only WE understand (and we smirk) and I continue along feeling a part of something much greater than myself - I know - that there's something to this keeping religion in our schools, thing. 

Because so often we as teachers don't get to stop and think outside our immediate profession. We don't get to step back from our classroom and our students and look at them as part of a community of people rather than the little (sometimes) stinkers whom we try to mold but are often stubbornly un-mold-able...

And while so often behaviour in schools can be an issue, more often than not, in mass, we're all calm and collected. (That is, both students and teachers!)!

AMAZING!!

It's a miracle, really.

And I love it...

And after mass, when we all leave the church and head out to recess, and I am singing the hymns down the hall merrily, I realize just how happy and day-altering the mass was...For me, it sets the tone for the rest of the day. 

And when I catch another teacher or student humming Michael Row Your Boat Ashore I know - I KNOW I am not the only one who was cheezily and most positively affected by the morning at mass.

I heart church. I heart the community. I heart the music. And I heart how the students become so amazingly peaceful.

And I heart teaching in a Catholic community - regardless of all the politics. 

Amen.

*ps. I heart the guitar-club teacher the mostest *wink*

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