April 12, 2010

My Legacy and other such Ridiculous Thoughts....

Well ladies today I feel as though I am barely BARELY keeping up. In fact at this moment I have not yet laid out my clothes for tomorrow (and it is nearly 8pm - my bedtime!!!). Nor have I had a moment to respond to my emails or my fb messages. Nor have I even sat down until just now.

Frig man life is busy.

But while it is busy on the outside with pertinent things, on the inside my wheels are spinning some really ridiculous thoughts.

Like I thought to myself this past weekend, self, let's have a chat, shall we? Tell, me, honestly, and with some real considerate thought, what is it, do I think, that I will leave to my daughter as my sort of Legacy? And you know what I came up with? 

Let me give you a minute...

The ability to apply and enjoy make-up. 


Oh yah.

I would say that this fact is a sad sad truth, but I believe it to be a happy one. 

I do!

I know there are other such much more important sb - isms that e will learn, but mostly, I look at myself, and I look at my future off-spring(s) and, by extension, and with hope, I presume, their future offspring(s) and I see ladies who just know how to apply and play with face art.

emmnhmmm. indeed!

Generations of beautifully aesthetics -ized faces. Can you believe it? Or, more to the point - can you imagine it?

I believe that this passion of mine will span generations of little sb's!!!

Or at least I hope so.

And that, I am proud to say, is the one major tangible talent that I truly truly believe will become inherent in my little girls. Unless of course they are rebels and take no note of anything I teach them. Then the art may die along with me.

But I WILL die trying.

Oh the trivialities that are all things me.


Next up. I know that I have 'raised the bar' in indulgence (ever see that Bueno commercial?) when I actually go out of my way to pay $7.50 for a regular sized waffle cone - EVER.

Like that is just insane, right? 

Like right up there with the five dollar coffee - latte?

Am I right? Or am I right?

Are we that yuppy-ville that we must spend more than a toonie on ICE CREAM?

Well, I am.


For two big-time reasons and some small unbeknown-st to me reasons too, I am sure.

One: PMS to me forces my body to emit this siren song - it creates in me a homing device - and thus attracts all forms of ice-creamy goodness-y indulgences for at least one week prior to my 'friend's' visit.

Indeed. Since high school. I would be my usual religious and conscientious eater all month long, then suddenly, out of the blue, I would have to buy me song ice-cream.

My mom could set her watch to it.

It took me years to realize this pattern.

But if you've read my posts, you know my mom and her need to um., help me see the light, ahem...(she says the ice-cream and my supreme bitchy-ness gave me away EVERY time). 

Oh she would tell the entire family over Easter dinner about my tendency to be a a bitchy, ice-creamy pms-y tyrant (I will admit I am a bit difficult to deal with at this time of the month) if I let her! 

And I don't.

Er. I try not to let her.

But even then, she'll try and work it into conversation -

I KNOW, right?!!

Your mom too?!


That was One.

Two: If I buy a tub of ice cream, I will just HAVE to eat it in two days. No matter the size. It's like an unwritten rule: tub must be gone in two days.

Something about melting or something?

It's an agreement between my body and the tub. I have been left out of this equation - I swear!!!

(ah - I just unassumingly go along with it)....right...

And so - because of my inability to control said situations (pms and melting ice cream that is), I feel I must only buy cones.

In theory this works: I can still get what I want without fear of overindulgence - 


However, when I go out every night of Easter long weekend (including Monday night, my friends), (and even after two amazing family dinners AND two family desserts --mmm banana cake and apple pie!), I wonder if I've re-raised the bar for indulgence - to a place it should really and truly NEVER go.

And let's do the math, here shall we? Um $7.50 times four, divided by one - added to nothing - and then resultant in the grand total of - $30.00 spent on four ice creams!

I know your opinion of me just then really took a hit.
And I don't blame you one bit.

it. is. a. problem.
Of the monumental kind.

And yet, I will continue my silly approach.

And I will still buy from my favourite marble-slab.

Because their ice-cream is REAL ice-cream (not frozen dessert, which I am not sure what that is - you?) -  

And And And it is just that good!

  I even forwent (honestly, is there such a word?) my wine last week in lieu of my ice-cream fix.

Again, I admit, it's a bit of a problem.

And so I ask you - what will you, if you were as silly and frivolous as I, spend that kind of senseless money on? 

Of course, All things considered: like the fact that I should be able to buy and create my own cone for like 1/10th the price - and the fact that I drove out of my way - on four different occasions - on the very same weekend - to the not necessarily convenient Marble Slab for the very same dessert all four times on four consecutive days

Let's all overlook the environmental implications of this.

Oh and I just right then felt your opinion of me fall that little bit further.

ka-thunk? Did it just hit the floor!!!????

But anyhow.

And that is what takes up my mental space while working, 'relaxing', and um. doing everything all at once - 

my vapid, vacant little mind houses some wonderful discussion starters - don't you think?

Please make me feel better and share with me some sort of indulgence that is embarrassingly over-the-top...

If for no other reason, to make me feel a bit better about my sad sad sorry little self.

And how.

Bon nuit, mes amies!


  1. Ohh SB, you crack me up!

  2. Anonymous13.4.10

    Personal indulgences... I'll pick the most recent. I have been living in a new neighbourhood for almost a year. When I first drove through the area, I was absolutely thrilled (read: EXTREMELY HAPPY) to see a Dairy Queen within walking distance from my house. The distance isn't particularly long -- maybe 10-15 minutes -- not enough to feel like you've "earned a cone. Nevertheless, I go there regularly for one of my two favourites: (1) a small strawberry-oreo blizzard, or (2) a medium, chocolate-dipped cone. If I'm feeling rich, I go for the first, which, at over $5, is ridiculously expensive (given grocery-store comparisons), otherwise I opt for the second. I walk there about once a week. (Actually, occasionally, I don't even do that. I drive and sit in the car and eat my ice cream in peace. It's heaven). The good news is that this Dairy Queen closes for several months durng the winter.

    I love ice cream. It reminds me of old times when Mom and I would get out the tub of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream and 2 spoons and work our way through an entire container. Pure Heaven. (And definitely not the "frozen dessert" stuff -- what is in that stuff?)

    One last thought: my lovely 80-year-old neighbour Vera told me yesterday that whenever she sees someone licking an ice cream cone, she thinks to herself. "That person looks happy."


  3. Great post!
    I love that part about the make-up and I feel the same way.

    I'm impressed that you pick your clothes out the night before. I desperately try to do that and I end up changing my mind. Isn't that crazy?

  4. Anonymous14.4.10

    i hear ya about life being busy. im not even back at work and i have a hard time keeping up. my dh rushes in from work, i rush out to the gym, i rush back, he rushes to soccer.. we try and throw in a quick kiss goodbye but it's hard not spending time all three of us together as a family! not to mention laundry, cleaning the beloved wood flooring*, dishes, changing the sheets (how long has it been?!)... etc.etc

    * i ADORE the flooring in your home. your mom was wrong.. you should love it cause we all do! am i right.. i think le will agree!

  5. ah ladies - you're too funny - thanks for the positive comments.

    I love the floors too. in theory. in fact they're a freaken pain in the ass.



Thanks for your thoughts!


Related Posts with Thumbnails