May 28, 2012

Change is a Good Thing...

So, I've been on the edge a lot lately. A LOT. Around me, circulating quite quickly, is the air of change. It's something else, my friends.

It's sort of overwhelming me a bit, in fact.

Last week I learned that my daycare provider is ready to move on with her life, which means that my children, whom I hate leaving at the best of times, are now losing the mommy-figure they've known since age 1 for e, and 4 months for dr. b. And the idea of this hurts me for several reasons. I was actually quite shocked at my own reaction to this, in all honesty; like all other relationships in life, there were times I thought maybe the provider was not a good fit.

But now? Well now I have no choice.

My children have only ever been left with her. I entrusted her. That's a huge statement. And now, I must find someone new. It's emblematic of my children growing up; of time marching on; of life ever-changing.

And I have cried several tears over this fact.

I have to get used to the fact that no matter what, we are all growing up. My babies will have to get used to someone new and I will have to get used to this transient life - their transient life.

Can you imagine me on their first day of school? Oh GOD. I just want to envelop them in my arms and keep them near me always.

But I cannot.

And now this truth is becoming glaringly more evident.

And I will have to either quit with the tears or I am not sure how I am going to deal with all of life's other surprises.

Anyone else finding change hard?

3 comments:

  1. Runs in our family! Must be do to our early childhood. As you know I have been having a hard time being/going back to work and trusting that someone else will be able to meet our standards of childcare for our little ones. I would be more worried if you didn't shed a tear ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aw. it's hard, isn't it:) We are also smart enough to know that life changes and we must adapt. sigh...

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  2. Anonymous30.5.12

    Ugh. What terrible news! I live in fear of that happening around here. Our child care provider got pneumonia last week and things all but fell apart around here. I've become completely dependent on her and I love that I've felt comfortable enough to do so but...What if?

    --leh xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your thoughts!

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