Life After iPhone

Last Maternity Leave, I was acquainted with the wonderful blogging world. I felt revitalized, renewed, tech-savvy even! When I went back to work and was presented with new technologies I could use in my classroom, I was not afraid, I was pumped! After all, I was now a pro at all things technology, thanks to my days blogging and htmling, etc....

Nothing to this technology stuff, I thought!!! (In years past, though, I would cower at the idea of trying anything new in the technology realm...)

This Maternity Leave, I've become acquainted with the wonderful iPhone. Since the world of blogging is often referred to as the blogosphere,  I feel like the iPhone should be called the iPhonesphere, because it too opens up a whole new world of possibilities, of thinking, of being. 

(Sounds dramatic, but it's true!)

Not only have I, the world's worst photographer--(not only am I bad at taking good shots, I rarely take the time to even pull out a camera to take a picture)--become a both a photographer and video-grapher, but it's actually been a natural and easy progression!

I know!!

I am pretty much addicted to documenting, in fact! And what perfect timing too, as my children are growing, I want to be sure to document their phases and stages. I am always taking a picture or videoing something new that they are accomplishing. And I feel so engaged and involved;-)....

It's awesome.

And going out for a night on the town with my iPhone means getting some really fun stills of my friends. AND if I lose my friends (even under the same roof), I simply have to text them, and voila!I can find them!

Life is good with the iPhone;-)...

Not only is it good for documenting and orienting, the iPhone is also good for communicating. If you know me, you know that my hubby and I get along really well, and we also fight really well. We're equals in every way, which means we meet equally eye to eye or when we don't quite agree, it`s with similar conviction.

What does the iPhone have to do with this fact you might ask?

...

Well, the iPhone has permitted us to express ourselves possibly a bit better. My apology sounds just that bit more sincere in a text format

...

My explanation seems a bit more considered

...

My texts are more honest sounding sometimes than my voice

...

Odd, but true. Maybe more intimate thoughts come from brain to finger than from brain to voice?

I was always told I didn't think before I spoke...Maybe I am more considerate when I type?

hmm...

Another bonus with the iPhone? Well, I have to say this one is my hands down favourite: I can track my diet and fitness regiment. In fact, I would say that there is no excuse for me to not keep myself fit and healthy with this trusty little iPhone friend of mine. Not only can I use MyFitnessPal to track (and even scan) my foods to ensure I am eating the proper quantities and nutrients, I can now track all my workouts through NIKEPlus and iPhone. 

I know, right? 

Awesome.

And not only that, I can play the most up-to-date music from my new App, TuneinRadio, and I am never bored on the treadmill...

Each new song is a surprise...Unlike in the olden days when I had my trusty portable CD player with my finite CD selection and redundant music choices...

Now everything about working out seems vast, infinite and exciting.

And it's all because of my trusty new iPhone.

Along with all these wonderful new Apps and abilities my iPhone offers, I am also more able to stay in contact with people. I figure this phone is gonna make me more popular!

I can fb whenever and wherever I want! I can twitter away all day if I so choose!!!

(though I need more friends to follow - any takers???)

...But most importantly, I can text rather than telephone whomever! And I like that...People can reach one another and reply to one another in their own convenient time rather than immediately--very important for all the moms and dads out there who have to contend with naps, dinner-making, bed-time, bath-time, cleaning, tantrums, etc...All these incidences in a day leave very little time for actual immediate conversing...but a text, WELL, that's do-able!

Again, I'd say me texting is better than me talking any day;-)!

Oh! And I almost forgot! I am more current than I ever used to be. Being the little busy, frenetic girl that I am, sitting down to a newspaper was really not my thing...But now, with all my newspaper Aps and PerezHilton Aps (hey, that's news, too, isn't it???), well now, I am pretty up-to-date on events...


Never mind that all I really need to do to get my news is read my friends' status updates or the recent trending tweets on twitter;-)...


I am so current, I might even be future...


um...did that make sense...

The only downfall to this whole iPhone thing, I'd say, is that I may possibly be too connected, (I might even say I sometimes am a bit over-present on fb)....However, I bet one day that such a notion of being over-exposed or being too connected will no longer exist...

It will be the norm...

I really enjoy being up-to-date with technology and am hoping to figure out ways to use this knowledge in the classroom, with Trending Walls, and Twitter Tweets, and fb Status Updates....And also by syncing my iPhone with my future Mac Book, IPad, etc., with my Smart Board, so I can teach with my trusty technologies!

Being a good teacher means knowing the same if not more than my students when it comes to technology and Media - so I hope to continue to learn and use all my new gadgets and Internet lingo in my classroom on a daily basis.

And all of this advancing on my part? -- could not have happened without my iPhone. 

I heart my iPhone.

The End.

(ps - I hope you know I am always slightly hyperbolic in what I say...you can determine what`s exaggerated;-)!)

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AND....

Before I can tell you about my peanut butter pie making experience (remember, from Beth's blog?), may I remind you of this incident of 2010:)!

Okay, now that you are fully prepared and suitably underwhelmed, I shall share my tale of making the peanut butter pie in memory of Mikey and in honour of Beth, the busiest, most involved and engaged person I know!

So, step one of all baking is to read the instructions and make a grocery list. So, I read the instructions, and the first thing I thought was, what do they mean by chocolate cookies? After some discussion with Beth, we decided that the Bulk Barn would be the best place to find such cookies (sans vanilla or chocolate icing fillings)...That is, before Beth went and asked her baker aunt for guidance and got an even better plan going (including a likely better crust approach than mine)...But whatever. This is not a competition. It's for a good cause.

Ahem.

Now, with my new, trusty iPhone, I didn't even have to write a grocery list...I simply had to carry my phone with me to the Bulk Barn and the grocery store and I could look at the blog and buy the goods and skip the middle step. (And if you know me, skipping steps is what I do best!!!)

So off to the Bulk Barn I went, post Dr. b being laid down to rest for the night (took five minutes people...I know, I am the BEST mom EVER!;-)!!!!

I was so super pumped! I have this renewed energy, you see...So I am trying to direct it positively rather than assault all of you all day on your fb or through texts and the like....(you wouldn't know I have two kids, would you?)!!!

Anyway(s) (that's for you S.S.), I managed to get a few of the items at the Bulk Barn - a few. I found what I deemed to be suitable cookies (those graham crackery ones covered in chocolate...mmmm).

The freakin' bill came to $11.00!!! Wow, baking is EXPENSIVE. It would be cheaper for me to go to my local Starbucks and buy a piece of cake (and that's saying something)!

But I was not near done. Oh no...

To the grocers!

And at the grocers, I spent another whopping $18.00. So presuming this pie/cholesterol haven managed to be split into six pieces, each piece would cost, let me see...11 + 18, carry the one, minus mistakes, plus additional mistakes, and we have 30 / 6 = 5.00 for one piece. hm....Maybe I will charge anyone who wants a slice (since I am now the frugal, penny pincher, right h.r.l & a.w, my fav. dutch financial advisers;-)???)!

Okay....

Enough blabbing!

NEXT: to the in-law's!  to borrow requisite spring-form pan. I can't be sure, but I think they were secretly laughing at me and my want to create this pie for someone I didn't even know with whom I was only just acquainted in the good ol' blogosphere...

I say they were missing the point....

And my family was going to get to reep the um...rewards.

So here's where I begin my confessional...

I bought all the things that were on the blogger's list. I checked my goods over at least four times. I felt pretty good.

AND I actually used the proper pan (thanks Su Bu!), which I almost NEVER do (call it the rebel in me, but following instructions and me, well, we simply don't get along all that well)...Drives my hubby mental...he teases me and pretends to cook like me, saying things like a cup here, and pours wayyy too much in (though I may not use the actually measuring cup, I say I am more accurate than he thinks I am!)...

So I get home, feeling really thorough and resolved to do this thing to perfection...After all, y'all are gonna be grading me, right?

So I take out all the measuring tools (I know! doing better already)!!! I also take out all the mixers, bowls, spoons, spatula's, etc., and ingredients I need...

I even take out my scale! Seriously, people...I was SERIOUS!

And I begin...And I start off with a bang! I am like a seasoned baker in my kitchen, prepping before I start, and feeling all OCD organized (again, a first for me)!!!

And then it happens. My first bluster....I look at the ingredients I buy. Now, a heavy cream should look a little like this:

But instead it looked like this:

 I am no baker! Is this a problem? Don't know yet...but at the time, I started to get hot in the face and slightly flustered...

But I'd been on a roll up to this point, no use in letting this little *possible* mishap upset my so far perfect streak.

And so I continue on, following the directions impeccably!

I was doing so well, I even surprise myself: melting what I was supposed to, chopping what I was supposed to, measuring what I was supposed to and even REFRIGERATING WHILE I WAS creating what I was supposed to!

I was all, there's nothing to this baking thing, I am sooo good at this already! easy as pie (now I understand that adage;-))

Honestly, I was feeling beyond professional.

And then I realized it.

Foible number two.

Okay, so if you go to the recipe you'll see: Pour the heavy cream into a bowl and beat using a stand mixer or hand mixer until stiff peaks form.  Transfer to a small bowl and store in refrigerator until ready to use. Then it says: Place the cream cheese and peanut butter in a deep bowl.  Beat on medium speed until light and fluffy.  Reduce speed to low and gradually beat in the confectioner's sugar.  Add the sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract and lemon juice. Increase speed to medium and beat until all the ingredients are combined and filling is smooth. 





But instead I did this: (partially b/c I had bought the wrong cream and wasn't sure it would beat until peaks would form, but regardless)...Pour the heavy cream into a bowl and beat using a stand mixer --- Reduce speed to low and gradually beat in the confectioner's sugar.  Add the sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract and lemon juice. 

So in case you missed it, what I did was not beat to peaks, and then add all the ingredients to the cream, rather than refrigerate the cream and add the appropriate ingredients to the peanut butter and cream cheese....

At this point I was RIGHT FLUSTERED!!!!!

I blame my trusty iPhone for being so freakin' small, I didn't even notice I'd skipped a step!!! (what is it they say about the poor workman who blames his tools?) WHATEVER!  HRMPH...

BUT, I AM a PROFESSIONAL...

And...

I knew that there was no turning back.

And certainly I was not going to try it all again! My pie per slice would then be $10.00. That was just ridiculous.

Easy as pie my a**!

I didn't tell jb my mistakes, as I knew he would totally make fun of me and call me his fav nickname: sb 10 percenter...shoulda used a measuring cup, coulda done it this way, coulda done that instead...He is a very good cook, and does everything perfect the first time, you know. (And truly, I say this begrudgingly, I am not even being sarcastic. HE IS PERFECT IN THE KITCHEN -- AND HIS FOOD EVEN LOOKS OCD PERFECT)!

I hate him;-)

and also, had I told him, I'd be all...D*mnit! I hate when he's right...

And he'd be all, 'I told you so...' sing song intonations and all....

Not only that, this was in a way, a public humiliation. I was showing the world that I cannot even follow a darn recipe.

English major who cannot read sequential instructions yet teaches craft to young children.

You know what they say, those who can't ... teach.

Gr...

All said and done, though, I tried to make the pie look as pretty as I could (to disguise its likely inevitable gross taste and more than likely floppy, droopy, gooey interior). If it LOOKS pretty, maybe jb won't notice.

What's funny here, is that I can't even really make the pie look pretty. The chocolate drizzle looks more like chocolate blobs...

Ha.

Anyone who utters sb type A about me again, I may punch out...Being busy and being type A? two very different things:-)

All this said, here's an image of the final product, refrigerated over night and everything (bonus points for following MOST of the directions???)...

I will get back to you about how it tastes, later...

duh duh duh... 

I will keep you posted on how it tastes after lunch!

 

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Slow DOWN!!!!

Things are just moving way too fast; I can barely process, let alone be one with all these changes.

First, e was no longer the 'baby', then she wanted her hair styled like a big girl every day, then she graduated to a big-girl bed, and now they're weening her from her bottle at daycare!!!???

Wtf

Wah!!!


I cannot fight the inevitable, but does it all have to happen at once???:(

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jb Says I am 'One of THOSE Parents'....

What do you suppose that means?

Shall I write my original title and let you decide?

Mmkay.

My Five Month Old is Smarter Than Me!

Any ideas what he meant ;-)!?

I guess with child number two we're supposed to be seasoned parents, right? We're supposed to know the cues, and certainly realize when we're being manipulated...

I consider myself double seasoned after e. (er. during e? - as she's still much the same, if not more so!)

She is master manipulator, heart-string tugger extraordinaire!

She really is people.

If I were to think back really honestly, I'd say she started foiling and wrapping me helplessly around her contriving (albeit sweet) little finger from about 3 months onward. She is a professional at making me feel that everything I do for her is my decision. Or, more to the point, it`s things she needs or has needed.

For instance, I would spend HOURS nursing my child to sleep. HOURS! and I`d tear the head off anyone who awoke her after that invested time and energy.

SHE WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP OTHERWISE!

BECAUSE SHE NEEDED TO NURSE.

 SHE NEEDED ME.

right?

Right....

I never realized how early on she started to train poor, unknowing me...

But now I am on babe number two.

I`ve read my Whisperer cover to cover over one hundred times (not literally, people! er. I don't think...)

I`ve managed to train, retrain and train once more my lil`master manipulator! (Though I still feel I have a WAYS to go with her...She still catches me up!)

I AM A VETERAN!!!

ha! yah right...

Anyhow...

Enter Dr. b.

Sweet, baby faced, pudgy, curious little Dr. b.

Surely he`s too sweet and too young to foil me already...

And! I am a veteran.

And! He is a baby.

Um. Yah.

Enter baby boss number two.

Exit my entire understanding of who I thought I was and how in control I thought I could be.

Um. Yah.

How has he trained me, you ask?

Well, let me tell you!

He WILL not. NOT. NOT (did I just double negative myself right there?) go to bed until he`s laid on me, kneading my one arm and caressing my shoulder, all the while sucking his soother and leaning back lazily in my loving cradle hold.

But!!! By George, this whole thing was my choice! 

 All mine!

I chose when and why and how I would soothe my baby. And I chose when I was done.

Ha. 

Yah right.

Enter me trying to impose my needs into this situation.

I decide that a half hour hauled up in his room, in his rocker, attached to him, isolated from the rest of the house, or what-have-you, is quite enough and I decide to put my babe to bed.

Babe feels himself being lowered into bed.

Babe sits up (as much as he can) and he starts to cry, budge, wake up....

Enter my son showing me who`s boss.

Exit my volition...

And another half hour is clocked rocking, caressing, kneading, lazy head leaned back happily...

And he knows, he has me.

But I don`t!

Yet....

It was MY choice to spend an hour or more with my sweet, loving, baby-faced, round cheeked fella, don`t you know!

To be fair, he has/had been collicky and all I could do to calm him was to rock him, bounce him, walk him, put him in a room with a fan, etc., to soothe him and calm him.

That was legit...(I think????!!!!)

But that turned into this.

Hence, the need to baby train.

And I had to stop last week and try to remember when the colic cry exited and the manipulation entered.

And I wonder how many extra hours have been clocked appeasing my sweet, coy little boy...

I am thinking at LEAST a month.

My doc says collicky children are smart.

I might have to agree.

Either way, me thinks my children are WAY smarter than me (though, again to be fair, that is not NECESSARILY saying much;))...

Regardless --
 
They`re constantly finding ways to outsmart and outwit me.

I best be staying on my toes, people...else I succumb to them both!!! What would happen then????

I wonder how many days it will take to undo what I`ve invariably done...and how many times I`ll fall back into old habits (of my choosing, no doubt!)

oy.

Does this rant make me one of those parents? Simply because I think my kids are `special`?

:)...

Nay, they`re gifted...

Ha Ha!

G'Night.

Wish me luck!

I'm sure I'll be back with a similar post. ... The Question is how soon.... he he he.

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Dear Tracy Hogg,

F. U.

Well, sorta, anyhow.

You see, I have been actively attempting your approaches since my first little baby was born in 2009. And in theory, and in some practice, I love what you offer in the baby rearing advice department.

But then, sometimes, I get really mad at you.

Those are the times when my baby won't drink said amount of liquid in the proper routine outlined for his and her age demographic.

Like, for instance, when you said that a four month old should only eat every four hours, I ask, how does one get him  to adhere to this regiment? I know I know, spread out the feeds beginning with 15 minute increments, blah blah.

But listening to my baby cry for more than a minute just doesn't work for me.

And all that planning and manipulating, and fifteen minutes here and another fifteen minutes there? well that just hurts my head!

And when you say that a baby should fall asleep on his own. You were joking about that right? No rocking? No loving cuddles? But those are the moments sweet books and memories are made of!!! Does that sound like the cries of a mom who may have accidentally parented?...um, it should!

I actually wonder, in all honesty, if, were it not for all your advice, I would not be a less tense parent who expects more from me and my babes than they are capable of. Like trying to get e to sleep from seven to seven every night and presuming that anyone who puts their kid to bed later will not have a late riser, but the opposite? I have many friends whose babes go to bed later and get up later. Sounds good to me!

And when my son wakes up from his nap after an hour, looking rested? Do I force him back to bed? I am currently working on this 'issue'!

Seriously!

And how is it that I am so uptight about rearing my baby, yet my hubby has no qualms. If the baby is up, he says, okay...he's not tired. Time for him to play. No sweat. Whereas I, on the other hand, I get all tense and uptight and think no no no, this is not what's supposed to happen! he's supposed to sleep for two hours, then feed, then play...this is all wrong. I am a bad mom. I have to get him back to bed!! And I would thus expend unneeded (?) energies trying to fit my dear dr. b back into the rigorous routine, so that all will be right with the world again....Never mind the many hours and days I spent trying to do this. Ugh...

I know, I know, you said to use my own baby whispering talents, too... You probably meant relax, right? You even might have called me a textbook parent, right?, all the whilst shaking your head deplorably? Well, what the heck! It's those parents who buy your books!!!

Seriously!

I'll be honest, I did give the ol' hold baby up for five minutes, then lay him down and pat his back to sleep thing....I gave it a good go. But it was a no go. Not from infancy, at least. I will readdress that approach when dr. b gets a bit older. It only worked with e from about 7 months onward.

Another point to be made, actually, while I'm on the topic of sleep training, is what am I to do with e while I'm taking all this time trying to train my baby? You were a nanny, how did you handle these high maintenance routines with one child while still attending to the others? e, like many two year olds, is very spirited (did you like that word?;-)), and would not stand to be stuck in a play pen or be by herself and certainly not be quiet for the extended periods of time necessary for proper baby training.

You never do address how to handle more than one child at a time, in fact!!

Furthermore, how am I to keep my baby at home all day every day on this oh so necessary routine when I have errands to run and children who long to go to parks and outside and to the Y? How am I to deal with these needs, too? Again, I am thinking that, while the routine and predictability is ideal for the babe, it might not be so wonderful for the rest of the family....me and e in a house all day long, cooped up, equals someone is gonna get hurt!!!

Seriously!!!!

Okay, one more reality vs textbook ideal: The whole pump until the milk gets dry thing. You must have taken off band-aids painfully slowly in life, because this approach to drying up one's milk? Ugh. It was painful and actually resulted in many clogged ducts, mastitis, and the overall effort seemed unnecessary. I am of the wrap and deal with the pain and discomfort for a week (sans all the added effort) camp. Way easier. Way less of a headache. And much less time spent trying to unclog the ducts...

Ugh.

Seriously, though...

Oh! And I also had a blast trying to re-sleep train e (by the way, do you address the whole babes/toddlers might regress thing in your books? I am thinking not!) whilst I was 4 months pregnant with dr. b. e cried for four hours that night. BUT, she did not get up again for a nightly cuddle after that. I know, I know what you'd say, I accidentally parented her, and I should have started as I meant to continue. Blah Blah.

When a mom has to go back to work after the year is up, and she only gets to see her babe for a short couple hours a day, I will take those hours any way or time I can!!! Even if it was four a.m. every night and lasted a good hour each time.

I was glad, though, that when I retrained my baby girl to sleep, she did. And your approach was the reason. Thanks for that.

All these things said, I do love how you consider both babe and parent needs of equal value. No baby rules the roost, and certainly no parent fascism either...And I like that the EASY method does make life and baby cues much more predictable and easier to discern.

I guess what I am trying to say, really, is that on the days when my child simply will not fit into your wonderful regime (or as you like to insist -- routine), I really get mad at you, as I  realize I must have done something accidental in there somewhere and now I must undo what I've done...Which means long hours of training ahead! Or maybe I should just throw in the towel?

Ugh...

Alright, time to start as I mean to go.... 

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Why is it that after 20 years of shaving my legs I still manage to forget to shave around my ankles???

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