AND....

Before I can tell you about my peanut butter pie making experience (remember, from Beth's blog?), may I remind you of this incident of 2010:)!

Okay, now that you are fully prepared and suitably underwhelmed, I shall share my tale of making the peanut butter pie in memory of Mikey and in honour of Beth, the busiest, most involved and engaged person I know!

So, step one of all baking is to read the instructions and make a grocery list. So, I read the instructions, and the first thing I thought was, what do they mean by chocolate cookies? After some discussion with Beth, we decided that the Bulk Barn would be the best place to find such cookies (sans vanilla or chocolate icing fillings)...That is, before Beth went and asked her baker aunt for guidance and got an even better plan going (including a likely better crust approach than mine)...But whatever. This is not a competition. It's for a good cause.

Ahem.

Now, with my new, trusty iPhone, I didn't even have to write a grocery list...I simply had to carry my phone with me to the Bulk Barn and the grocery store and I could look at the blog and buy the goods and skip the middle step. (And if you know me, skipping steps is what I do best!!!)

So off to the Bulk Barn I went, post Dr. b being laid down to rest for the night (took five minutes people...I know, I am the BEST mom EVER!;-)!!!!

I was so super pumped! I have this renewed energy, you see...So I am trying to direct it positively rather than assault all of you all day on your fb or through texts and the like....(you wouldn't know I have two kids, would you?)!!!

Anyway(s) (that's for you S.S.), I managed to get a few of the items at the Bulk Barn - a few. I found what I deemed to be suitable cookies (those graham crackery ones covered in chocolate...mmmm).

The freakin' bill came to $11.00!!! Wow, baking is EXPENSIVE. It would be cheaper for me to go to my local Starbucks and buy a piece of cake (and that's saying something)!

But I was not near done. Oh no...

To the grocers!

And at the grocers, I spent another whopping $18.00. So presuming this pie/cholesterol haven managed to be split into six pieces, each piece would cost, let me see...11 + 18, carry the one, minus mistakes, plus additional mistakes, and we have 30 / 6 = 5.00 for one piece. hm....Maybe I will charge anyone who wants a slice (since I am now the frugal, penny pincher, right h.r.l & a.w, my fav. dutch financial advisers;-)???)!

Okay....

Enough blabbing!

NEXT: to the in-law's!  to borrow requisite spring-form pan. I can't be sure, but I think they were secretly laughing at me and my want to create this pie for someone I didn't even know with whom I was only just acquainted in the good ol' blogosphere...

I say they were missing the point....

And my family was going to get to reep the um...rewards.

So here's where I begin my confessional...

I bought all the things that were on the blogger's list. I checked my goods over at least four times. I felt pretty good.

AND I actually used the proper pan (thanks Su Bu!), which I almost NEVER do (call it the rebel in me, but following instructions and me, well, we simply don't get along all that well)...Drives my hubby mental...he teases me and pretends to cook like me, saying things like a cup here, and pours wayyy too much in (though I may not use the actually measuring cup, I say I am more accurate than he thinks I am!)...

So I get home, feeling really thorough and resolved to do this thing to perfection...After all, y'all are gonna be grading me, right?

So I take out all the measuring tools (I know! doing better already)!!! I also take out all the mixers, bowls, spoons, spatula's, etc., and ingredients I need...

I even take out my scale! Seriously, people...I was SERIOUS!

And I begin...And I start off with a bang! I am like a seasoned baker in my kitchen, prepping before I start, and feeling all OCD organized (again, a first for me)!!!

And then it happens. My first bluster....I look at the ingredients I buy. Now, a heavy cream should look a little like this:

But instead it looked like this:

 I am no baker! Is this a problem? Don't know yet...but at the time, I started to get hot in the face and slightly flustered...

But I'd been on a roll up to this point, no use in letting this little *possible* mishap upset my so far perfect streak.

And so I continue on, following the directions impeccably!

I was doing so well, I even surprise myself: melting what I was supposed to, chopping what I was supposed to, measuring what I was supposed to and even REFRIGERATING WHILE I WAS creating what I was supposed to!

I was all, there's nothing to this baking thing, I am sooo good at this already! easy as pie (now I understand that adage;-))

Honestly, I was feeling beyond professional.

And then I realized it.

Foible number two.

Okay, so if you go to the recipe you'll see: Pour the heavy cream into a bowl and beat using a stand mixer or hand mixer until stiff peaks form.  Transfer to a small bowl and store in refrigerator until ready to use. Then it says: Place the cream cheese and peanut butter in a deep bowl.  Beat on medium speed until light and fluffy.  Reduce speed to low and gradually beat in the confectioner's sugar.  Add the sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract and lemon juice. Increase speed to medium and beat until all the ingredients are combined and filling is smooth. 





But instead I did this: (partially b/c I had bought the wrong cream and wasn't sure it would beat until peaks would form, but regardless)...Pour the heavy cream into a bowl and beat using a stand mixer --- Reduce speed to low and gradually beat in the confectioner's sugar.  Add the sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract and lemon juice. 

So in case you missed it, what I did was not beat to peaks, and then add all the ingredients to the cream, rather than refrigerate the cream and add the appropriate ingredients to the peanut butter and cream cheese....

At this point I was RIGHT FLUSTERED!!!!!

I blame my trusty iPhone for being so freakin' small, I didn't even notice I'd skipped a step!!! (what is it they say about the poor workman who blames his tools?) WHATEVER!  HRMPH...

BUT, I AM a PROFESSIONAL...

And...

I knew that there was no turning back.

And certainly I was not going to try it all again! My pie per slice would then be $10.00. That was just ridiculous.

Easy as pie my a**!

I didn't tell jb my mistakes, as I knew he would totally make fun of me and call me his fav nickname: sb 10 percenter...shoulda used a measuring cup, coulda done it this way, coulda done that instead...He is a very good cook, and does everything perfect the first time, you know. (And truly, I say this begrudgingly, I am not even being sarcastic. HE IS PERFECT IN THE KITCHEN -- AND HIS FOOD EVEN LOOKS OCD PERFECT)!

I hate him;-)

and also, had I told him, I'd be all...D*mnit! I hate when he's right...

And he'd be all, 'I told you so...' sing song intonations and all....

Not only that, this was in a way, a public humiliation. I was showing the world that I cannot even follow a darn recipe.

English major who cannot read sequential instructions yet teaches craft to young children.

You know what they say, those who can't ... teach.

Gr...

All said and done, though, I tried to make the pie look as pretty as I could (to disguise its likely inevitable gross taste and more than likely floppy, droopy, gooey interior). If it LOOKS pretty, maybe jb won't notice.

What's funny here, is that I can't even really make the pie look pretty. The chocolate drizzle looks more like chocolate blobs...

Ha.

Anyone who utters sb type A about me again, I may punch out...Being busy and being type A? two very different things:-)

All this said, here's an image of the final product, refrigerated over night and everything (bonus points for following MOST of the directions???)...

I will get back to you about how it tastes, later...

duh duh duh... 

I will keep you posted on how it tastes after lunch!

 

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