Can you guess the topic of this post?
Well if you are a woman who has ever considered procreating, then you might understand...
Three years ago I had a plan: drink my brains out and enjoy life and then clean up my act (or, more to the point, grow up) - and then right away (with the help of jb) get pregnant - and then wait about a year, repeat, wait one more year, repeat.
I mean, all one has to do to get pregnant is have sex at ovulation time, right? It is that easy isn't it?
ha ha ha!
Well, I learned very very quickly in my pursuit to be mommy - that my body was not so enthusiastic to the idea and the usual methods of getting pregnant simply did not apply.
Great.
Have I ever mentioned my need to be in control?
No?
Really?
Well, I am one who is very much in need to be in FULL. Control.
And I have come to learn and be humbled time and again, by my sadly infertile body.
Maybe infertile is too harsh - but it's the correct sentiment all the same.
I decided in July of three years ago to throw away those pills I (being a good Catholic girl) NEVER took...And just be free! And in so doing, I presumed, I would make a baby!
Well. I was mistaken.
It took me until October of that same year to start to realize that something was just not right with my little ol' body. Many blame the ol' pills I've never *wink* taken for being the cause of cycle irregularities, but I would have to disagree in my case. I have, upon reflection, come to appreciate the fact that my cycle has never been all that regular - and so, I think I was born a bit less fertile ....
Anyhow - in October, after the first few months undertaking my new exciting quest for a baby, I started learning and doing everything I could to realize this dream. Being type A in many regards, I was going to do everything right;
Because I just KNEW that was all it would take to get pregnant - simply do everything better than, and more correctly than everyone else!
to be continued...
We had trouble conceiving for a year, followed by several miscarriages. The difficulty conceiving seemed ironic, after having spent so much of my adult life in mortal fear of pregnancy. Which would surely happen the FIRST time I had unprotected sex -- how could all those junior high health teachers be wrong? No one ever tells you how complicated it can be. ((((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI "almost" wish we had had some difficulties. It definitely wasn't in my plan to switch jobs and give birth within 5 months of each other....but here we are. A blessing in disguise.
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