March 9, 2010

The Best of Intentions...

Unlike the many nights of my maternity leave thus far, last night I had the best of intentions: I was upstairs and ready to go to bed by ten p.m. I was a bit skeptical about going to bed at this time since the more one sleeps, the faster time goes. You see my dilemma.

But I was tired.

And j.b. who has always been a night hawk had chosen to go down early as well.

I decided to take advantage of this fact since I love when we go to sleep at the same time -- and the occurrences are rare.

But, being the somewhat suffocating mother that I've been of late, I had to check on little e before going down. I love watching how peaceful she is as she sleeps. I noticed, though, that on this night she was snoring. Interesting. I commented to j.b. that I think she may be getting his cold.


So I thought I'd done a perfectly quiet job of opening the door, admiring her, then closing it and sneaking away. Turns out no.

e woke up and started to cry.

So I waited the requisite time to see if she'd settle on her own (you know, trying with all my might to squelch my own new found neediness) and then swooped in to scoop her up and steal some cuddle time. (So much for early bed, but I didn't mind. There's simply nothing more intimate than night snuggles with e. It's about the only time she is settled ever).

Knowing she was starting to get sick, I decided that last night would be a night to snuggle on the couch. Sometimes, very rarely, I do this. You know how some people sleep with their babies? Yeah. We don't. I was never even given the opportunity  to decide what my opinion truly was on the matter! e simply wouldn't let me even if I wanted to. She needs her space, you see! But sometimes, if I catch her at the right moment, and she's tired and vulnerable enough, I can snuggle and fall asleep with her on the couch for an hour or two. So I take it!

We settle in on the couch and I am feeling all happy because it's been months since I've had the opportunity for this e and me time, and all of a sudden I hear her convulsing -- er -- retching. And before I know what's happening, she's vomited all over me.

I got up quickly (you should know that a mother of a reflux baby learns some really crazy tactics to getting herself and her baby out of the line of fire -- I consider this a true talent!); so I moved e to a safe area where if she continues to spew (which she does) so she won't cause harm to carpet or couch.

And then we ran the rest of the way to the bathroom. Imagine the soundtrack to Mission Impossible was playing in the background. That's how stealth my movements were, I swear! Very calculated. She vomited in all three locations; apparently, I am a bit rusty with the whole vomit deflection tactics. And the vomit has changed since the addition of solids. It has a particularly sour and acidic stench to it now. Oh it's putrid.

My hair was covered.

My clothes were covered.

e's face was covered.

e's clothes were covered.

What. A. Mess.

I managed to change myself out of my clothes quickly enough to leave e hysterically crying on the floor for only a brief moment. I was surprised at my speed! She needed to be held. So I held my puke-y, snot infested child right to me, and I was only in bra and panties. And my hair was soaked with her dinner debris.

There was a time in my life when I thought I'd never be able to handle such gross-nesses. Apparently I am maturing.

My hubby ran in a few minutes later (isn't it funny how well men can sleep through any sort of uproar?).

Then HE began to convulse.  

Oh no!!! 

Luckily, he managed to keep his shit together and helped me help e get out of her clothes and cleaned and into something dry with as little upset as is possible. 

She was crying. 

She was shivering and blubbering.

I've never seen her look more upset or pathetic.

I guess I was asking for it: I know I had been excited at the thought of snuggle and sleep time with e, but come on!!!

Before trying to settle her down to sleep, I tried to get some juice into her, and a little formula. You know, to rehydrate her! At that point I thought her vomiting was simply because she was so stuffed up, not because she had a bug.

But then she vomited again. 
All over me. 
All over her. 
In her eyes.

Guess I was wrong.

Back to the bathroom:

And repeat.

We finally settled in and I used the t.v. to sooth her for a while (what a bad parent am I) until she finally faded on me. I figured she was just too stuffed up to lie down in her own crib...............................        

WHAT?! - I swear!. And of course I didn't want her to puke in her sleep. You know.

And so, happy me, we cuddled. Kind of.

She didn't fully settle all night. She tossed and turned. But even with the discomfort of the couch and the distraction of her, I managed to have a few dreams. Hm. I must have slept SOME! I was pretty amazed at my adaptability!

Tonight, with the best of intentions, I've managed to get e to bed early, and I am hoping to do the same. For real this time.

Although I am upset at my lack of sleep, I am really happy that I can still have this time with my e. She is such a sprightly one. Even though she was truly sick, yesterday and today, she never stopped smiling. After many tosses and turns in the night, she would hold her head up, look at me, and smile the most brilliant smile.

And I was like, yup. This is worth the foggy brain and slow body I will have for the next few days. This is worth it EVERY TIME.

However, that said,

Here's to hoping for a good night's sleep tonight.

Good night.


  1. Anonymous9.3.10

    poor lil' booboo.. that story reiterates how mommy's are superheroes! first time puking though and having a cold all winter? good for you mama b for taking such great care of her!!!!!

  2. sound like such a brilliant mother. I hope one day I develop maternal instincts because as of yet, all I can do is take care of my furry little cats ;)

  3. oh no...i hope that your little e is feeling better! what a night you had.

    i know how you feel about taking advantage of those moments when you think your child will snuggle and cuddle with you. for me, it's usually when my little one is sick. it breaks my heart that she doesn't feel good but i love holding her and cuddling with her.

  4. Anonymous10.3.10

    I feel like it's been absolute ages since I've taken the time to enjoy one of your latest posts. Sorry for the absence. Craziness and more computer drama. Your story brings back childhood memories. I was a serious puker. Ask my older sister. From the time I was born, I threw up a lot, especially when there was any sort of "excitement" (i.e. Christmas, Birthdays, late nights). I finally "grew out of it" by the age or 9 or so. I can remember being 5 or 6 and waking up at 11pm or 12am at night, sitting up in bed and spewing all over my comforter. The work I must have created for my mother! WHY DID I NEVER MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM? But my mom never got upset. She just cleaned me up, cleaned the bed, and made me feel better. Oh, the power of a mother's love. Hope E is feeling better :)



Thanks for your thoughts!


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