January 13, 2010

The Motherhood Conspiracy -- Continued

So I work in a career that employs mostly women, so I am even more sensitive to this topic...I am now going to list as many of the things all the women in my life failed to tell me before having a child -- I wonder if they were trying to spare me, or if Nature, in Her infinite wisdom, purposely makes women forget because she wants us to continue populating our world...(?)

p.s. before reading this list, know that I love being a mom a lot, I just feel a bit mislead or something.

1. In the beginning we seriously get no sleep. And when the nurses say that you need to sleep, they are simply teasing us, b/c by the time we fall asleep it's time to wake up and nurse, eat, change a diaper, or bathe the baby.

2. Breastfeeding is twenty-four seven...for the first like month.

3. Breastfeeding can be HARD.

4. Breastfeeding is not really natural -- as in, it takes A LOT of work. Oh and people have definite opinions on this topic, so be careful with whom you decide to discuss it.

5. Babies are not all born to just eat, sleep, poop and repeat. Some are really difficult.

6. Many people cannot tell you what's 'wrong' with your baby b/c babies don't talk...so the many illnesses and their origin remain unsolved: colic what is it? No one really knows. Reflux, what is it and why does it happen, there are theories, but no one really knows. Momma's diet and its effect on their babes, does it really, or not? No one really knows. Teething, does it hurt, does it cause diarreah, loss of appetite, nausea, etc., no one really knows...

7. Being at home day and night is a very lonely thing for women. (or stay at home men too).

8. Our great plans to visit with all our motherly friends often doesn't happen because babies have such specific schedules.

9. Make-up and general higeine become luxuries not daily necessities.

10. Sex. ha! let you figure that one out on your own...

11. Going to do some 'quick' errands becomes a three or four hour event, taking into account baby's nap schedule, feeding schedule, mood, packing for baby, dressing baby, getting baby into the god-forsaken piece of shit carseat...etc. etc. Who needs food or medicine? It's not worth the hastle.

12. The best gift for a mom is one hour to herself. Longer would be awesome.

13. As awesome as our significant other's are, they usually just don't have the touch...Parenting and meeting baby's needs is often a one-parent gig...oh and I've been told that men just 'don't have the gene'...jury's still out on that cop-out.

14. Crying for no reason is normal.

15. Anxiety and doctor runs for silly things like a stuffy nose become normal in the first three months.

16. Watching to ensure our baby is breathing while he/she sleeps is also normal. but insane.

17. Women are tough on each other and have definite opinions about how we each raise our little bundles. And we're all right, don't you know?!

18. Sleeping through the night is a badge indicating good mothering skills...If the baby doesn't, well, you suck.

19. Eating is now a luxury not a necessity as well. Oh and coffee -- mmm...wish someone else could take the time to make it for us.

20. Yeah for peanut butter and granola bars!

21. In my case, I really missed having the baby in my belly...

22. The love we feel for our children is more than we ever expected or can ever describe -- it is scary. For me it grew, it didn't start that way.

23. Babies cry for no reason sometimes...and for long periods of time.

24. The house is hard to maintain. Really hard. Like the last thing we want to do...or maybe that's just me...

25. Balancing careers and houses and selves is CRAZY...Why did no one tell me how incredible you all are who do this??? Seriously, I am on my knees worshiping you!!!

26. I will no longer have time to maintain my beauty regimen...I think you all were secretly laughing at me when I said it took no time out of your day to preen and workout and make sensible healthy meals. HAH!

27. Balance is a seven letter swear word.

28. We need each other, us women...to vent. Because often our significant other just does not understand.

29. Sometimes when someone says we're crying because we have postpartum, it feels like they've just blamed our mood on pms...both can be just as insulting...of course there are exceptions on both counts.

30. Mother and father will very often disagree in BIG WAYS about how to raise their child/ren.

31. You will not fully understand the breadth of this discussion until you have your own little one...

32. Television shows and commercials and movies with children take on a whole new meaning.

33. Stopping nursing or providing bm to our babies can be a very devastating change. In fact all the changes and developments make us nostalgic for the past...though excited for the future too.

34. The idea and necessity of going back to work (even if staying at home doesn't excite me), makes me very very sad.

35. Internet friends become extra important as they are easier to meet up with online than they are in person!!!

36. Women are AWESOME -- and if we can do all this stuff and remain happy and not bitter, wow, we deserve some serious pampering and recognition.

I am just wondering if women complain more now than in the past b/c moms have been raising children for generations *and many of them without complaint...Were they crazy? Or are we just spoiled these days?

please add any you can think of! I am sure I missed a lot!

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