Words WERE Power

 [photo credit]

The word of the week this week? Um.

Yep.

You did indeed read that correctly.

The word of the week is - Um.

That's been the recurrent word in my vocabulary since starting back to work. I am not sure whether to blame this abysmal vocabulary/venacular (or at least retrieval of previously possessed wonderful word-y words) on tired-ness (tee hee) or um. as a result of a year off of working or thinking of anything other than house-hold duties. 

Now I am going to presume that the former is more responsible, however the latter has not helped. Had I been more interested in reading (which I SHOULD have been, but due to lack of motivation--which I blame also on lack of sleep--I did not really read much). Other than Jen Lancaster and half of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Which I promised myself I would complete before heading back to work. Sigh. Yet another promise broken.

Are we all seeing a trend here, though? Really - regardless of the actual reason: lack of reading or just not talking as much, or involving myself in as many real conversations (that is with people other than my one year old daughter who has a two-word vocabulary), the real culprit to my brain freezy-ness seems to be lack of sleep.

And I've learned that this deficit of zz's does not actually ever get better with the growth of family, addition of children and progression in careers. Hm. So I am doomed to sound stupid, then, hey?

So. Um. Well. Um. That sucks.

You should have seen my Thursday's Math lesson. It would have totally (yup I'm back to my University Valley-girl self) fit my Wednesday post on how my week was proceeding rather, um. interestingly. Yes. I tried to teach an inspiring, no, ILLUMINATING Math lesson (and folks, I am actually usually a supreme Math teacher--to toot my own horn). Well, not that day. I spent the entire period speaking and retracting what I'd say, then trying new approaches. The conclusion of the lesson went something like this: do you understand? no? well I don't blame you. Close your books and forget everything I've just um. said. um. yah. And. Um. We'll retry this again on Tuesday - Happy Long Weekend.

And. Um! I'm sorry for wasting all of our time!

Um. Okay then.

And then yesterday at one of my wonderful family Easter dinners I was relaying a very enticing tale - like people were seriously on edge as I began. And then, as the story unfolded, I lost my words - I was all - um. what's the word for? And then when we'd all guess and test then finally retrieve the appropriate word and I would continue along for a few more beats and then I'd be all, um. I am not sure the word for - and then ten minutes later when we all would agree upon that correct word, I'd forgotten the whole darn story. Oh and I'd completely lost the interest of my once so intrigued audience.

That sucked.

Man.

Words are power people.

I've lost my power.

WAHHHH.

And I may never get it back.

There are too many dust bunnies and um. cob-webs and um. um. Oh I forget the word! up there in my brainy brain - at least in the part that used to house all my 'smart-y' words.

Wish me luck and sleep and some sort of miraculous change here. Because um. I am um. well. you know what I mean, right?

Happy Easter!

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