Gaga....

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So I am having a single girl's night in, watching Glee and eating frozen yogurt. Sounds like heaven, right? I know! 

The premise this week, besides the Gaga stuff, is about dressing as one wishes; being bold and expressive, rather than status quo.

I forgot about the me of my younger days who loved expressing myself through my clothing. Don't get me wrong, I still do; only now, I dress appropriately.

And when Gaga says she dresses or does what she does because she can, I get bothered for my impressionable students who think that being outlandish and acting dramatic and subversive is okay.

But then I remember - I was once like that too. And then I grew up, closed my mind, forgot about my creative needs and outlets...

Is it okay to dress outlandishly? To present oneself as different for the norm? Is it okay to be dramatic and atypical for personal expression? What's so wrong about different?

I remember my dad telling me the importance of being a part of the crowd, not standing apart from the crowd.

It sounded so sheep-like to me.

Yet now, I feel like it is important to understand that everything we do, say, wear, presents us in a certain light. And no matter what, we are being judged. We are telling others what to think of us based on the way we communicate ourselves through our appearance.

But is it so wrong to want to express ourselves outlandishly, eccentrically? Why does Gaga bug me so much?

I guess because there are many levels to creativity and wearing weird things does not always mean one is creative or dramatic.

There, I think, needs to be some taste to being different.

At least a little thought.

I don't think anyone should do anything simply because she can...

Because where is the art in that? Where is the depth? Where is the drama?

hmmm....

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On Blogging...

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Some days I wonder why I blog - is it for personal edification? Is it cathartic/therapeutic? Is it self-indulgent? I am not sure it is solely any one of these...And I simply cannot seem to dig deep enough to figure it out.

And so it goes...

Paired with this question, of course is, why do we read blogs?

Many blogs, mine included, are mostly about the blogger and his (though usually her) life...We blog our personal thoughts and revelations, our journeys and goals, our ever-inspired realizations; and of course, we all like to talk about our jobs and our families...

Do you get sick of reading about jb and e? What does it do for you, reading about them, I wonder?

I know I love reading my friend's blogs because I enjoy learning about their goals, where they are in life, and where they are planning to go. People who are always and ever evolving are my favourite sort.

They inspire me.

They help me remember that ultimitely we must grow and evolve in our lives lest we fester - stop - become stunted...

I am a big fan of Darwin's Theory of Evolution; that is the fittest survive because they adapt and evolve constantly. I try hard to fight my natural inclination to fight change (I've always been one who hates change; I love the familiar). However in light of recent events, I am learning that I (and most) feel most alive when I am striving, working hard, and am stimulated and actively engaged in all things life.

I thrive off of feeling the exhileration of grabbing and suffocating the shit out of my life - 

That's why I love my career. I am constantly called to chase after things, students, teachers, projects, causes, etc. I am also always asked to help motivate others to do the same. And the only thing more exhilerating than having my own goals is helping motivate others to realize and chase after their own aspirations...

It's a pretty fun domino to be a part of...

Anyhow - I guess this blog about blogging has sort of asked a question and then answered it also...but that was my answer - what is yours? why do you blog? why do you like blogs? 

Talk to me, people!

Now that the house is clean(ish) and the groceries done (ish) - time to enjoy the weekend. 

cheerio!

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On Normalcy...

Well, finally, a day when we are not running here and there to see and comfort or be comforted by family and friends.

A day to be normal.

To do the every day and the mundane.

How I loved today.

Even the simplest thing like doing the dishes felt special to me today.

Because, for the first time in almost a week, I had time to do the dishes. And I even had the the wherewithal - no dishes in the fridge for me today!

Finally!

I have decided that the boring old daily routine is one of my favourite aspects in this here life of mine....

Though holding an exhausted e as she drinks her bottle is still, hands down, my favourite and most fulfilling time spent.

Cheers to Normalcy!

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support

I have experienced very few deaths in my life; and never have I experienced a passing that was way too early - far earlier than it should have ever happened. My husband's close friend lost out on so many of life's experiences: marriage, babies, career expansion, etc. 

That's one of the hardest thoughts to deal with during this time.

And I wonder how I can help support my husband, who is by nature a very stoic, reserved, private person.

He shares very few feelings with anyone, including me. 

I am not sure how to deal with the coming weeks when the supportive friends who've come to the fore start to fade away again, and j.b. is left with his thoughts...When he starts to really deal with this sudden tragedy.

How can I be there for him?

How does one know what to say?

What to do?

And how we keep his dear friend's memory present and prevalent.

Finally, how can we make any sense of this tragedy?

SB.

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life

right now my family and I are dealing with a particularly upsetting and untimely and unnecessary death.

Life is so short.

I want to try to really focus on what matters.

Like nice shoes, flattered by a great outfit.

Like good, low maintenance, understanding friends.

Like family who knows how to be family.

Like life.

It's too short and too precious.

May we live it the way we need and want to--without apology. 

And may we know what we have...and appreciate it daily, hourly, in every moment.

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